EYE CANDY - Chapter 35: All Night Long

Destiny.

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It was after midnight. Santa Monica airport was deserted. The airfield was dark, punctuated by the rows of blue lights on both sides of the taxiways.

In his hangar, Danny performed the pre-flight walk-around of the Viper Jet. The pre-flight inspection was as much a ritual as an inspection. It was time used to connect with the aircraft, to rediscover its nuances before climbing inside the cockpit and experiencing the magic of flying. The Viper Jet hadn’t been in the air in almost four months, not since his night flight with Candy. This inspection had to be thorough.

The fluorescent lights overhead brought out the shine in the black and green paint. Danny ran his hands gently over the aircraft. He searched for cracks or dents, loose screws or unseated rivets, as well as any dripping fluids. With a clean, soft cloth, he removed the remnants of dead insects accumulated in flight. Small black splotches, tiny wings, and small bodies that crunched when he wiped them away.

He began at the cockpit and worked his way backward and around, the way he always did. He squatted beneath the wings and inspected the landing gear. He checked the wings’ leading edges and the full travel of the control surfaces, including ailerons and elevons.

He reached into the cockpit and flipped the Master switch to On. He walked quickly around the jet. All lights were on and functioning. This was to be a night flight. Illumination was critical.

With the checklist complete, Danny took up from the shelf a clean cloth and a small can of micro-acrylic cleaner. He sprayed the windshield and canopy with the cleaner and waited for it to foam. Once the distillates had penetrated the microscopic pores of the acrylic, Danny wiped it away. The canopy was left deep-cleaned and shining. Cinderella always rode in a carriage right and perfect.

Satisfied, Danny towed the jet out of the hangar. Ten minutes later, he was strapped snugly in the cockpit, engine at idle, and completed the last items on his Before Take-off Checklist.

He advanced the throttle a bit to get the jet rolling, and used the rudder pedals to steer as he taxied onto the runway and into position. He aligned the nose wheel with the white runway centerline.

He glanced at his rearview mirror. At the seat behind him.

The seat was empty.

The last person to sit there was Candy. Everyone had offered to ride in Danny’s airplane. Howard had been particularly insistent, until Canary reminded Howard that he was needed to pilot one of the other two jets.

No, the seat was reserved for someone special.

Danny was coming back with Candy in the passenger seat, or he wasn’t coming back at all.

That much he had already decided.

He advanced the throttle to take-off thrust. The engine wound up, Danny removed his toes from the brake pedals, and the Viper Jet tore down the runway.

In moments he was ripping through the night sky, sailing out over the ocean, and toward the rendezvous point.

~

Danny circled the Viper Jet in the sky over Santa Barbara Island, the smallest and centermost of the eight Channel Islands. Santa Catalina was another of the eight land masses. Danny could see lights along its coast as he banked left and circled southward.

He confirmed his pre-selected radio frequency and pressed the push-to-talk button on his joystick. “Viper to Big Bird. You copy?”

Silence.

“Viper to Big Bird, are you on-air?”

A female voice answered. It was Laura. “Roger, Viper. This is Big Bird. We have you in sight. We’re heading one-eight-zero and descending out of five thousand.”

“Roger, Big Bird,” said Danny. “Nice to see you made it.” He flew north, then pulled hard to the left and circled around behind the southbound jet, until they were flying parallel.

Laura waved from inside the cockpit of the big G-950. “Is Baby Bird with you?”

“Negative,” Danny replied. “I’m flying solo up here.”

“Roger that.”

“We’ll wait a few more minutes.”

“No need for that, sir.” An airplane dropped out of the sky and pulled up level with the other two jets, with Danny in the middle of the formation.

“That’s a nice jet you’ve got there, Howard,” Danny radioed. “How’s she handle?”

“A bit like your aircraft, sir, but with more passengers.”

“She’s sexy,” said Danny, “but can she do this?”

Danny gave his flight control stick a crisp pull and a roll, until he was inverted, flying upside down between the other two jets.

Faces appeared in the oval windows along the fuselage of both of the bigger airplanes. In Canary’s Big Bird appeared Floyd, Susannah, Moshe, Tikva, Helen, Sparky, Atom, Blendo, Rony, Bella, Rukara, Poo, Zammy, Delilah, Oberon, and Romeo.

Peering from the windows of the smaller G-288 Baby Bird were Rory, Tim, Maggie, Nik, Isaac, Gali, Copper, Turing, Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat.

Rory came on the radio. “Lookin’ good, show-off.”

“Thanks.”

“I could have ridden with you, you know.”

“I know. I just. . . . I wanted to. . . .”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get her back.”

Danny rolled his jet upright and assumed the lead. “Let’s head south, one-seven-five.”

The three aircraft flew south. Bright, orange lights of the San Diego metropolitan area passed by on their port side.

At regular intervals, Danny checked on his friends. Canary and Laura were clearly visible in the cockpit of the bigger jet, their faces bathed in a subtle glow cast by the instrument panel. On Danny’s other side, the red eyes of Howard and Bernard gleamed from the flight deck of the smaller Eighty-Eight.

All four of his fellow aviators wore radio headsets, which appeared particularly fascinating on Howard and Bernard.

Danny wondered if an all-robot flight crew were legal. Probably not. Howard was a fully-licensed pilot. Bernard was literally learning on the fly. At any rate, the folks in the back certainly didn’t seem perturbed about entrusting their lives to the two robots. It was a testament to the trust robots and humans could share.

If everyone made it out alive—when Danny insisted to himself, when everyone made it out alive—and they were back home, he would have a newfound respect for robots, having seen firsthand what they were capable of, and what they were willing to do to help their friends, robot and human alike.

“Everybody awake?” Danny radioed. “We’re almost to the border. Time to do some water skiing.”

Danny pitched the nose of his jet downward and descended toward the water. Flying at night over the water presented a unique challenge, for it was virtually impossible to see where the sky stopped and the water began. Both appeared equally dark. Water was also incompressible; it tended to receive fast-moving objects much as did concrete. Flying into the water, therefore, would not be comfortable.

Danny descended lower and lower, until he saw faint traces of whitecaps rushing by below. On his left, Canary was skimming the water line at a similar altitude, mirrored by Howard on Danny’s right. Danny keyed his radio, “I’ll say one thing: you all have got balls.”

“Just try and keep up,” Canary replied. Despite the seriousness in Canary’s tone, the sentiment made Danny smile.

Danny consulted his moving map. A dotted blue line passed by. They were now in international airspace. Or, given their altitude (or lack thereof), they were in international waters.

“Lights out,” Danny radioed.

He extinguished all exterior lighting on his jet, including his red-and-green position lights and white anti-collision lights on the wingtips, and the red beacon flashing atop the tail of his aircraft.

The other two jets also went dark.

Ahead, on the horizon, loomed the outline of a ship. The myriad rows of parallel lights and its shape identified it as a cruise ship. A big one. Getting bigger by the second.

Danny maintained his heading. Thus Canary and Howard maintained their headings.

The ocean liner passed by just off their starboard side. On its uppermost deck, hundreds of people line danced in unison, side stepping and tapping their heels on the dance floor and clapping their hands together before they twirled in place and danced back the way they’d come. Most of them stopped and hurried to the rail, and looked down at the dark water. The three jets rushed past, followed by the screaming roar of jet engines. Long white sprays of sea water flew into the air.

Not exactly subtle.

Danny performed some quick calculations, considering their location, current airspeed, and distance to target. If they were lucky, they would make it before the U.S. or Mexican Coast Guards showed up. Both agencies utilized fast-attack helicopters equipped with .50 caliber machine guns used to combat the drug boats and submarines known to frequent these waters.

Such a confrontation would be a disaster to their mission. Danny inched his control stick forward, creeping closer and closer to the water. They had to stay below radar. Canary mirrored the descent, as did Howard. The digital altimeter in Danny’s heads-up-display indicated they were flying seventeen feet above the water.

“I see dolphins,” Howard radioed.

“Any lower and we can pet them,” Canary added.

“Keep your eyes open,” said Danny. “We’re less than twenty miles from the island. We should have company soon.”

“You sure your friends will show up?”

“I’ve never known a pilot who would pass up an opportunity to kick some ass.”

A pair of fighter jets descended from the sky. “Did I hear something about an ass kicking?”

Danny recognized the voice at once: it was Egg Roll. To his right was A-Hole-in-One. Their big, delta-wing F-35 attack aircraft sported the characteristic blue-and-gold livery, with a fierce gold dragon emblem on the vertical stabilizer.

“Nice night to do some fishing,” radioed A-hole. “Or get into a firefight with a fleet of attack drones.”

“Just another day at the office,” said Egg Roll.

“Thanks for being here,” radioed Danny. “Did you bring back-up?”

“See for yourself,” said Egg Roll.

Danny craned his neck to look behind his jet. He quickly counted eighteen F-35 fighter-attack aircraft. Egg Roll and A-hole made it twenty.

“Wow,” said Laura. She’d seen them, too.

“Golden Dragons, at your service,” said Egg Roll.

The bomb bay doors opened on all twenty jets of the Golden Dragons squadron. Each was heavily armed with multiple air-to-air missiles.

“You guys came prepared,” said Rory.

“It’s better to have a missile and not need it than to need a missile and not have it,” said A-hole.

Helen’s voice came over the radio, “You can say that again!”

When the laughter subsided, Howard came on the radio. “It is nice to fly with you gentleman once more.”

“Likewise,” said Egg Roll. “Now, I hate to break up the tearful reunion but it’s time to party. I’ve got bogies on radar, numerous and closing fast. Dragons! Let’s dance.”

Blue cones of jet thrust shot from the exhaust nozzles of the fighters and they accelerated away. The sound was deafening. Danny felt the rumble in his chest.

The fighter squadron climbed as one, then broke into groups and engaged the oncoming swarm of drones.

Air-to-air missiles streaked from the fighters by the dozens. Balls of fire lit up the night as the missiles hit their targets, shattering the drones into fragments that fell to the sea.

The remaining drones turned sharply away and retreated.

“That was easy,” said Egg Roll.

“Mister Olivaw,” said A-hole, “I thought you said this was going to be a fight.”

It was easy. Too easy.

“They’re regrouping,” Danny radioed. “That was a test, to feel us out. The real firefight is–”

On the horizon lay an entire fleet of drones.

“Now that’s more like it,” said Egg Roll.

White lights appeared on the horizon.

“Are those landing lights?” Laura asked.

The lights were coming closer. Fast.

“They’re missiles,” Danny called out. “Break off!”

“Shit!” said Canary.

“Shit indeed, sir,” said Howard.

Simultaneously the Golden Dragons climbed, banked, rolled, and dove. Each jet released a shower of flares to distract the heat-seeking missiles.

The G-950 pulled up hard and banked left, executing a precision barrel roll as a missile streaked by. Howard performed a similar maneuver and narrowly evaded two missiles.

Danny rolled and flew through the missiles’ twin exhaust plumes just as a missile impacted the water where his jet had been one second ago. The missile detonated, and Danny felt the heat on his face. He banked hard to the left and headed for the big 950.

Canary had two drones chasing him, firing cannons as they went. Orange tracer rounds filled the sky. Canary banked and rolled, pushing the big airplane harder and harder.

“Egg Roll, this is Viper. Big Bird needs backup.”

“Already on it,” radioed Egg Roll. Egg Roll’s attack jet rolled inverted and dove on Canary and Laura. Egg Roll opened fire with his Vulcan cannon. Green tracer rounds streaked through the night sky and cut the drones in half.

“Watch your six, Viper,” said Egg Roll.

A drone opened fire.

Danny rolled and the stream of bullets whizzed over his wings and past his canopy. He dove for the water, with the drone right behind him.

Egg Roll did his best to get into position. “Viper, I can’t get a shot. Watch out.”

Danny was going to hit water. He pulled hard on his stick. His down-draft kicked up a spray of seawater.

The drone pulled up too late and hit the dark water. It tumbled, broke into pieces, and exploded.

The 288 flew directly in front of Danny. Howard’s red eyes glowed inside the cockpit. Danny could swear Howard was smiling.

Danny keyed his mic. “You need help, Howard?”

“Negative, sir.” A drone was hot on Howard’s tail. Howard had the fast and nimble 288 in a tight, banking left turn, so low that his wingtip nearly skimmed the ocean’s surface. Howard did not have lungs, did not breathe oxygen, and did not feel the tremendous gravitational forces as he steepened his turn. Thus his voice was perfectly calm, to the point of being almost comical.

Howard turned, turned, the 288 now perpendicular to the sea. Steeper and steeper, until at last the drone nosed down out of its pursuit, hit the water, and crashed.

“Well done, Howard,” Danny radioed.

“Thank you, sir. The drones have smaller wings, thus a higher stall speed. We can out-fly them.”

“I’ll remember that.” Danny surveyed the sky. “Big Bird, this is Viper, what’s your position.”

Laura’s voice came over the radio. “We’re . . . up high. And in . . . trouble.” Laura grunted as she spoke, like she couldn’t breathe.

Danny spotted them about one thousand feet up. The big jet was climbing hard out of a steep dive, subjecting Canary, Laura, and the others to gee-forces several times their own weight. The plane’s wings flexed and both engines roared. Three drones flew directly behind it. The lead drone opened fire. Orange tracers rent the sky, ripping into the tall tail of the big jet.

Canary rolled hard right and dove in a massive corkscrew.

The three drones followed, firing as they went. Streams of bullets lit up the sky, long and orange like ropes.

Egg Roll and A-hole rolled into position behind the drones. Green tracers filled the air as the aircraft rolled through the sky.

Heavy breathing and harried voices barking commands over the radio filled Danny’s helmet. Everywhere he looked, aircraft filled the night. Drones and Dragons swooped, banked, and dove, taking evasive action and angling for position.

Danny found himself flying head to head with a drone. Orange lights flashed as its cannon fired. Danny rolled inverted and flew directly over the top of the drone. Everything slowed down. Where the drone’s canopy and pilot should’ve been, there was only a matte-black grid, behind which were arrays of flashing red lights, the extent of the drone’s brain.

And then it was gone.

Danny rolled level in time to see a missile slam into the drone, destroying it utterly. A Golden Dragon rolled inverted over the top of the Viper Jet. Danny looked up as its pilot gave him a crisp salute. Danny saluted. Then the fighter banked away in pursuit of another drone.

Danny found Howard and Bernard in the 288. He dropped into position beside them. Several bullet holes were raked across the tip of one wing, including the jagged remains of the upturned winglet.

“You’re hit,” Danny radioed.

“You should see the other guy,” said Bernard.

Danny surveyed the windows on the 288. It was too dark inside the airplane’s cabin to see. “Everybody okay in there?”

“No casualties,” said Howard.

Above them, the 950 was taking fire. Egg Roll and A-hole let fly with their bullets. Canary continued to bank and roll, pushing the big Gulfstream to do things no one had ever dared try.

The drones were relentless. Orange tracers chased the bigger jet.

Egg Roll managed to rake his stream of ammunition across the drones’ flight path. He anticipated their position perfectly. Green tracers ripped through the drones, shredding them. Flaming wreckage tumbled from the sky.

But only after a drone strafed one of the Gulfstream’s engine nacelles. The engine exploded. Orange fire and black smoke streamed from the airplane. It rolled inverted and dove, plummeting toward the water.

Danny could only watch.

Black smoke poured from the 950 where the engine had been. The airplane spiraled down, inverted and turning in a slow arc.

There was no way Canary could pull out of it. They were simply too low.

Below them, the ocean was awash with flaming debris like dozens of floating bonfires that filled the night with an orange glow.

Lower and lower the wounded airplane fell.

It rolled upright for a final time. Danny waited for the impact. He could not breathe.

The airplane banked hard to the right, its long white nose angled slowly, gradually, desperately toward the sky. Its one remaining engine screamed, virtually willing the jet back into controlled flight.

The descent ceased. The jet rolled level and angled upward. It climbed slowly away from the sea littered with burning wreckage, and leveled off.

Danny took a position alongside the bigger plane. Howard did the same on the opposite side, as did Egg Roll and A-hole.

From inside the cockpit, Canary turned and looked at Danny.

Canary’s voice came over the radio. “Anybody seen an engine? I think I shit myself.”

Laughter filled the night. Egg Roll and A-hole and the other Dragons laughed heartily, full of relief and admiration.

“I thought you were a goner,” Egg Roll radioed.

Canary’s voice sounded shaky. “So did I.”

“Can that thing fly on one engine?” A-hole asked.

“Apparently,” said Canary.

“Hell of a way to find out,” said A-hole.

“The island is in sight,” said Danny. “Mr. C., we’ll follow you down. Egg Roll, you guys provide close air support so we can get down.”

“Roger that, Viper. We’ll clear the beach.”

“Roger. And thanks.”

“Just another day at the office.” Egg Roll performed a brisk 540-degree roll and dove for the water, gunning down a drone as he went. He formed up with A-hole and several other Dragons. They flew over the beach toward the runway. The airfield was full of ground-based anti-aircraft drones.

“Targets acquired,” said Egg Roll. “Fire.”

Missiles streaked toward the airfield. The drones were blasted to pieces.

“Viper, you are cleared to land,” said Egg Roll.

“Roger that. Nice work. After you, Mister C.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” said Canary. “Gear down.”

Danny reduced his throttle and dropped his own flaps and gear as Canary struggled to land the crippled jet. The nose of the 950 yawed side to side. The wings rocked. The landing gear touched the runway and screeched, sending up white smoke. The aircraft skidded once, the nosewheel touched, and they were safely down. Once Canary was clear of the runway, Danny touched down. Howard and Bernard followed.

Everyone deplaned at the end of the runway, in awe of the damage the jets had endured.

They huddled behind the 288. Everyone was dressed in black camouflage and body armor. And fully armed.

“We’re here,” said Rory. “How do we get inside?”

“Phase Two,” said Danny. “Zammy, it’s showtime.”

“Leave everything to me.” Zammy pulled out his phone and made a call. “We’re in position.” He hung up. “You guys are going to love this. Keep your eyes on the beach.”

Moments later, six, eight, ten, a dozen vehicles surfaced just beyond the breakers. The low hum of stealth-enabled engines filled the air and the vehicles rode the waves onto the beach.

Danny watched in awe. “Hovercraft?”

“Water Striders,” said Zammy. “Submersible all-terrain vehicles. Special Forces use them all the time. Fast in, fast out.”

The hovercraft rode up the beach and onto the airfield. The lead hovercraft angled toward the airplanes. The others formed a defensive perimeter.

“I need one of those for my store,” said Oberon.

“Sorry, we can’t keep them. They’re on loan from the U.S.S. Enterprise,” said Zammy, “which is on its way to port in Long Beach. I called in a few favors to get them here.”

The hovercraft came to rest. A ramp opened and a man wearing a business suit and body armor trotted over. He transferred a large assault rifle to his other hand and shook hands with Zammy. He then exchanged a hug with Delilah. The diagonal black lines of cammo paint on her face and the submachine gun in her hands were equally foreboding.

“I’d like you all to meet a close friend of ours,” said Zammy. “This is Senator David Stein. He chairs the Senate Joint Armed Services Committee. We share a passionate dislike for Les Grossman.”

Senator Stein laughed. “That’s an understatement. When he was just making movies, it wasn’t a problem. But his pervasive anti-robot rhetoric has become a national security threat. He’s made a lot of enemies, including in the military and Pentagon. The fact is that the world can be a hostile place. We need to be able to meet threats of any kind, both foreign and domestic. Robots are crucial to that mission. Robots save lives. And they tend to make one helluva valiant soldier.” The Senator nodded to Howard and Bernard, both of whom wore body armor and had green and black cammo paint on their faces, and carried assault rifles.

“That was a nice speech,” said Zammy.

“Did I rush it? I felt like I rushed it.”

“No, it was good. Did you bring help?” Zammy asked.

“I brought the house.” The Senator spoke into the small boom microphone attached to his ear. “Activate and deploy.”

All around the airfield, ramps unfolded from the hovercraft. Robots poured out. Large, silver robots. Danny recognized them at once.

“Pagaz.”

“Pagazim,” said the Senator, “plural. And they’re ready to kick some ass.”

“That makes about a hundred and fifty of us,” said Blendo.

“Alright, let’s get ready to move, everybody!” Danny called.

Tim and Maggie turned to Gali, Copper, and Turing.

“You girls look so cute in your face paint and body armor,” said Rony. “When we get home the four of us should have a nice tea party with some dolls and a couple pounds of C-4.”

“Okay!” Gali, Copper, and Turing exclaimed, smiling.

“You girls get the command center up and running,” said Tim. “You’re our eyes and ears once we get inside.”

“We’ve got you covered, Dad,” said Turing.

“We’re leaving a full complement of Pagazim to guard the airfield. No one will get within five hundred yards of your girls,” said Senator Stein.

Automatic gunfire erupted. Rounds plinked off the armored hovercraft in a flurry of sparks.

“Get down!” Danny yelled.

Everyone dove for the tarmac.

Howard and Bernard leveled their weapons and returned fire. Howard spoke calmly between bursts of gunfire. “If you’ll escort the girls to the command center, Miss Maggie, we’ll be underway.”

Maggie veritably pushed Gali, Copper, and Turing up the stairs and into the jet. Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat escorted Maggie while she helped the girls into the Gulfstream.

All around, everyone was returning fire. A horde of humanoid drone robots had descended upon the airfield.

The Pagaz units were dropping them like flies, but they kept coming by the dozens.

Bella aimed his .50 caliber rifle and fired. A drone’s head exploded.

“Nice shot,” said Rukara. He let loose a burst from his assault rifle and another drone fell.

“Thanks,” said Bella, firing again.

“We can’t stay here all night,” said Rony. She held an Uzi in each hand, and fired in alternate bursts, dropping two more drones.

“She’s right,” said Atom.

“Let’s get ready to move,” Blendo added. He and Atom both fired, and two drones dropped.

“Senator,” said Poo, “get the bots into a wedge and we’ll fall in inside of it.” Poo whirled and shot a drone that was concentrating its fire on the G-950 where the girls were. The drone toppled over.

“Right,” said the Senator. “By the way, I’m a huge fan of your work.”

“Thanks.” Poo emptied his clip into three drones fighting hand-to-hand with a Pagaz. The drones fell in the dirt. Everyone waited for the Pagaz to stand up, but it didn’t move.

“Our first casualty,” said Blackie.

“Looks like it just got real, honey,” said Romeo.

Isaac and Nik each unloaded their weapons on a drone. Beside them, Oberon drained his magazine and dropped four drones.

“Hey, Romeo,” said Oberon, shouting over the gunfire, “if we make it out of this, promise to tell me how you make that vegetarian fish.”

“You got it, sweetie,” said Romeo, squeezing off rounds in short, controlled bursts, “but only if lover boy over there agrees to shave off that rats’ nest he calls a beard. I want to see his face because I think I’m in love.”

Bella fired another round from his massive rifle. “What can I say?” He chambered and fired again. “Robots love me. Whoa–!”

A round hit Bella in the chest and he fell on his back.

Rony and Rukara knelt beside him while Atom and Blendo concentrated their fire and destroyed the drone that shot Bella.

Bella gasped for air, coughing and choking.

Rukara slid his hand inside Bella’s body armor. It came away dry. “It’s okay. The round didn’t penetrate.”

Bella sat up, grunting as he drew breath. “Sure feels like it. I think my ribs are broken.”

“That was close,” said Rony.

“Too close,” added Rukara.

Bella gasped as he heaved himself to his feet. He retrieved his rifle from the tarmac and chambered a round. “I’m done screwing around. Let’s go.” Bella walked from behind the hovercraft.

Senator Stein stood and called, “Move out!”

Everyone moved at a fast walk, weapons at the ready, firing as they went.

Kong carried a gatling gun with six long black barrels that spun when fired. A long belt of ammunition was fed from a massive pack on his back. Kong squeezed the trigger, shredding drones to pieces, until the barrels glowed red-hot.

VanCat held an Uzi in each hand. He sprayed bullets everywhere, dropping drone after drone, and used his other two hands to tear fresh magazines from the dozens on his body armor, popping in the fresh clips and blazing away.

“On your left!” Blackie called, and Whitey turned and shot the drone just before it fired.

Moshe and Tikva and Helen and Sparky leapfrogged forward, moving in pairs. They took turns covering one another, advancing quickly.

Tim and Maggie came next, followed closely by Isaac and Nik.

Floyd and Susannah followed with Canary and Laura, all firing like mad and slamming fresh magazines into their weapons.

Atom, Blendo, and Poo advanced with Zammy and Delilah. Rony and Rukara were on either side of Bella. Bella grunted with each step but moved quickly. He fired round after round from his massive rifle despite his injury.

Danny and Rory brought up the rear, accompanied by Howard and Bernard.

The team assembled and took cover behind the line of Pagaz robots.

“How much further to the house?” asked Laura.

“I’d say about fifteen hundred meters,” said Rukara.

“How far is that in feet?” asked Maggie.

“Almost a mile,” said Atom.

“We’re going to fight our way uphill for almost a mile, outnumbered?” Susannah asked.

“Damn right,” said Danny.

“It would help if we knew what was waiting for us,” said Poo.

“Right,” said Tim. He keyed his radio. “Ladybug, this is Papa Bear. Do you copy?”

~

Down at the airfield, inside the big Gulfstream, Gali, Copper, and Turing reclined in the jet’s luxurious leather chairs, eating chocolate and drinking from pouches of coffee. A portable computer console sat on the table.

“What do you guys think Candy and Harley are doing right now?” Gali asked.

“Probably sitting by the fire,” said Copper, “watching Grossman O.D. on Diet Coke, and keeping warm. Instead of freezing their asses off in an airplane like us.”

Gali licked melted chocolate from her fingers. “You think Les will get elected President?”

“Probably,” said Turing. “My teacher Mrs. Graves said he will.”

“It would help if he lost a little weight and got rid of the body hair,” said Copper. “It’s really gross, man.”

Turing flattened her pouch. She grabbed a new one and squeezed the bottom. “I love the crunching sound it makes when you activate it.”

“That’s your third one, Tur,” said Gali.

“I know,” Turing smiled, “and I feel great!”

“Mom’s gonna kill me!”

“Mom’s not here,” said Turing. “And she’s not going to find out. Here, have some more chocolate. They go good together.”

“Who do you guys think is cuter,” Copper asked, “Danny or Rory?”

“Danny,” Gali replied.

“Danny’s cute,” said Turing, “but I think Rory is cute, too.”

“What about Poo? Or Bella?” asked Gali.

“Poo is a babe,” said Copper.

“I agree,” said Turing. “Plus it’s important to be with someone who makes you laugh. But Bella is handsome, too. He just needs to shave off that beard. It looks like a home for wayward spiders.”

Gali and Copper laughed.

“You think Rony and Poo are going to get together?” Gali asked.

“Definitely,” said Copper.

“Definitely,” said Turing.

“What about Harley and Rory?” asked Gali.

“Oh please,” said Turing, “don’t even get me started on those two.”

Tim’s voice sounded from the computer on the table. “Ladybug, this is Papa Bear. Do you copy?”

“Oh, look!” said Turing. “Daddy’s calling.” She donned the waiting headset. “Hi, Papa Bear. This is Ladybug.”

“I’m supposed to do it,” said Gali.

“I can do it,” said Turing. “We read you loud and clear, Papa Bear. Go ahead.”

“Roger that, sweetie,” said Tim. “We need some eyes in the sky. Go ahead and launch it.” Maggie’s voice was audible in the background, “Tell Gali not to let Turing have more than one pouch of coffee.” Tim added, “And mom says no more coffee for you.”

“Daddy says launch it,” said Turing. “And no more coffee for me.”

“See?” Gali scolded. She removed the small black quadrocopter from its protective case and handed it to Copper. “Get ready to throw it through the door.”

“Roger,” said Copper. “Fire it up.”

Gali tapped the screen a few times. “Initiating start-up sequence.”

Copper’s face appeared on the screen. “We have visual.” Her voice sounded from the speakers. “Audio is good.”

Gali tapped the Rotor icon. All four rotors whirred to life. The copter nearly flew itself out of Copper’s hands.

“Okay, Copper, launch it.”

“Roger.” Copper moved to the open door of the jet.

Bullets plinked off the sheetmetal and sent up a shower of sparks.

All three girls dove for the floor.

When it was clear, Copper inched forward, closer to the door. “Get ready, Gali! One . . . Two . . . Three!”

Copper leaned forward and hurled the copter through the door.

Rounds hit the jet.

A nearby Pagaz returned fire, shattering a drone within range of the parked aircraft.

Gali slid her finger up the screen on the laptop and increased the throttle.

The copter took to the air.

A live feed appeared in the eyes of Danny, Rory, Tim, Maggie, and the others, real-time video captured by the copter and relayed to the contact lenses in their eyes.

Gali piloted the quadrocopter over their heads, then climbed vertically. The increased altitude provided a live shot of what was coming down the hill toward them: an armada of drones.

“We are so dead,” said Atom.

“There’s just too many,” said Rukara.

“What do we do now?” Susannah asked.

“We need backup.” Danny keyed his radio. “Egg Roll, this is Viper. You read?”

“Loud and clear, Viper. Go ahead.”

“Have you got eyes on us, and on what’s coming toward us?”

“Affirmative, Viper. We are inbound. Hold your position.”

The distant whine of jet engines became audible.

“Here comes the cavalry,” said Blendo.

“Death from above,” Oberon added.

Dragon jets appeared. Danny counted eight in all, spread over two formations. The jets hovered overhead.

All eight jets opened up with their Vulcan cannons. Streams of bullets washed over the advancing army of drones. Green tracer rounds lit up the night. The drones were cut down.

Yet on and on the drones came.

“You kids might want to plug your ears,” radioed Egg Roll.

Scores of missiles fired from the jets and streaked toward the oncoming drones.

“Oh yeah,” said Egg Roll, “duck.”

Everyone knelt behind the row of Pagaz units.

The scores of missiles broke apart. Each projectile became dozens. And each smaller missile zinged to the ground and hit a drone. The noise was like ten thousand fire crackers exploding in a blinding sea of sparks.

When the fire and smoke and noise cleared, the hillside was covered with pieces of robots. Ultraviolet hydraulic fluid and glowing green electro-coolant were splattered everywhere. It flowed from the felled drones, and ran downhill over the ground.

“You’re all clear, Viper,” radioed Egg Roll. He saluted from inside his jet.

Danny returned the salute. “Tim, have the girls send the eye in the sky up ahead. Hopefully we can reach the house without any more surprises. Alright, let’s move out. Senator, if you’ll do the honors.”

Tim relayed the order to the girls while everyone gathered their weapons and ammunition. Senator Stein issued the advance order to the Pagaz units. Everyone moved up the hill at a trot.

When they reached the house, it was much larger than it had looked from the airfield.

“This place is huge,” said Delilah.

“Yeah, man,” said Zammy. “Your woman could be anywhere in there.”

“Then we’ll just have to check every room,” said Danny.

“Right,” said Rory. “There’s the door. Let’s get ready to move.”

“Dad, wait,” radioed Turing. “Gali says the sensors indicate explosives on the doors, called Anfo. What’s Anfo?”

“Anfo is a type of explosive used for its powerful shockwave,” said Rukara. “With the amount of Anfo on that door, if it goes off, it’ll blow us all from here to San Diego.”

“That won’t do at all,” said Helen.

“So how are we going to disable it?” asked Whitey.

Rukara gathered his coat about him. “Leave that to me.” He extracted a hood from inside the collar and pulled it over his head and face. He tapped a small control panel on the coat. A moment later, he vanished.

“Cool,” said Blackie.

“Totally,” added VanCat.

“Let’s not start jerkin’ ourselves off just yet,” said Floyd. “Mister Invisible still has to disarm the charges.”

“Right,” said Rukara.

“Can you see through that thing?” Rony asked.

“Sort of,” said Rukara. “I should’ve made the eye holes bigger. Too late now.” Judging by the sound of his voice, he was already moving toward the door. “If I don’t come back, somebody better at least name their first kid after me.”

Danny held his breath while Rukara worked. No one spoke.

“Okay, that should do it,” Rukara called at last. “Who wants to walk over here and see if they get blown up?”

“I’ll go,” said Danny.

“You can’t go,” said Rory. “You have to make it inside so you can kick the shit out of Les Grossman and rescue your lady-fair.”

“I quite agree,” said Tikva. “Moshe and I will go.”

“No, I will go,” said Bernard.

“I need you to help me fly home,” said Howard. “We shall go together.”

“No, I will go,” said Sparky.

“Oh, Sparky, how romantic,” Helen cooed.

Poo laughed. “Goddamn robots arguing over who gets to save the humans. We really are a pathetic race.”

“Not at all, Master Poo,” said Howard. “For it was yourselves who created us.”

“Exactly,” said Poo. “If I make it through this, I really am going to kick my shoes off in a fit of joy.” Poo ran for the door.

After a handful of strides, he arrived.

Rukara smiled. “See? Told you there was nothing to worry about.”

A powerful explosion knocked everyone flat. The wide double doors disintegrated in the blast.

Through the smoke and dust Bella called out, “What the fuck, Rukara?”

Rukara picked himself up off the ground and threw himself flat against the wall. “It wasn’t me! Something’s coming.” He grabbed Poo and pulled him to his feet, then hurriedly confirmed his weapon was chambered.

A loud, sequential pounding filled the air and vibrated the ground.

“Anybody have eyes on target?” Danny called. Dust and debris from the explosion hung in the air and obscured what was left of the doorway.

“Negative,” called Rukara.

Even the live feed from the quadrocopter hovering overhead provided little assistance, showing only smoke as thick as fog.

Danny crouched low and ran to the doorway. Poo stood beside Rukara on the opposite side of the door.

“You guys hear footsteps?” Danny asked.

“Hear and feel,” said Poo.

“Look sharp, people,” Canary called.

Through the smoke came a massive metal figure, a robot at least fifteen feet tall, easily twice as tall as the Pagaz. It bore a grayish camouflaged exterior that shifted and changed hue and color as the smoke dissipated.

“Show time, boys,” said Kong. He took two steps forward and squeezed the trigger on his gatling gun. The weapon fired a barrage of bullets fed from Kong’s backpack. The noise was frightening, part buzz saw and part jet engine.

Blackie, Whitey, and VanCat joined Kong. Together they unleashed a torrent of gunfire.

Danny, Poo, and Rukara opened fire from the doorway.

Atom, Blendo, Rony, Bella, Zammy, and Delilah attacked, along with Floyd and Susannah, Oberon and Romeo.

They were joined by Canary and Laura, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Howard, Bernard, Moshe and Tikva, Helen and Sparky, and Senator Stein.

The big robot merely stood there, taking the punishment. The bullets bounced off. It stared down with lifeless black eyes.

That was it.

“Shoot for the eyes!” shouted Danny.

His words were lost amid the gunfire.

Danny inserted a new clip into his rifle. He fired a burst at the robot and ran to Bella and Rony, who were blazing away. Danny tapped Bella on the shoulder and leaned in close.

“The EYES! Shoot for the eyes!”

Bella shook his head in confusion.

Danny pointed to his eyes, and then pointed at the robot.

Bella chambered a round, aimed, and fired the big .50 caliber rifle.

One of the robot’s black eyes exploded in its head.

Bella chambered another round and fired.

The robot’s remaining eye disappeared in a shower of sparks.

Kong concentrated his fire on the robot’s head. Rounds dug into its eye sockets and shredded the top half of its metal cranium. The tall robot fell backward and lay still.

Everyone waited.

When they robot didn’t move, they slowly gathered around it.

“Nice shootin’, Tex,” said Rukara.

“Thanks,” Bella and Kong replied in unison.

“What is this thing?” Laura asked.

“It’s called a Guardian,” said Canary. “We had plans for them about twenty-five years ago. The field of robotics wasn’t as advanced as it is today. Internal components were big. So the robot had to be big, too. But their sheer size made them impractical. So we only built a handful of them.”

“What’s it doing here?” Maggie asked.

“Guarding the threshold,” said Floyd.

“Harley must’ve dug it out of the basement storage facility and brought it here,” said Canary.

“I’d love to have a few of these at the Palace,” said Zammy.

“Let’s keep moving,” said Danny. “Senator, post a couple of Pagaz units here to watch our six.”

Senator Stein placed one Pagaz near the door, and a second hidden in a nearby shadow. The group then pressed on, into the house.

Tim radioed Turing and instructed her to keep the quadrocopter in the air over the house, and to let him know if anything changed.

“Good luck, dad,” said Copper.

“Yeah,” said Turing, “good luck daddy. Keep mommy safe.”

Tim assured the girls that he and Isaac and Nik would do so.

The Guardian robot was left behind in the massive foyer.

~

The interior of the house was dark.

Danny flipped a light switch on the wall. Nothing happened. “Power’s off.”

Everyone activated the mini-LED torches mounted on their rifles or body armor.

The sweep of the beams of light only increased the ominous atmosphere.

“This place gives me the creeps,” said Rony.

They entered a large room. A long table flanked by myriad chairs occupied the center. Ornate tapestries and large oil paintings hung on the walls. They depicted bizarre scenes. A robot screaming while humans pulled out its wires like intestines. A robot in the woods being hunted by men on horses. A robot with one body and two heads. A robot wearing a straight jacket and locked in a dark room.

“I think somebody has a severe hatred of robots,” said Delilah.

Large chandeliers hung from the ceiling, each filled with stubby white candles topped by black, burned wicks. Cobwebs covered the chandeliers and the high, shadowy corners.

“It looks like a haunted house,” said Rony. “Smells like one, too.”

“What does a haunted house smell like?” asked Atom.

“Damp and old and musty,” said Rony. “Like this place.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in ghosts,” said Blendo.

“I didn’t,” said Rony. “Until now.”

“It appears this place is haunted by the spirits of dead robots,” said Blendo. “And robots don’t have spirits or souls because they’re not alive. They’re just machines. Therefore, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Blendo stood with his assault rifle in one hand, muzzle toward the ceiling, replete in his body armor and black fatigues. His beret was a perfect touch.

“Are you sure about that?” Danny asked.

“Dead sure,” said Blendo.

Howard, Bernard, Moshe, Tikva, Romeo, and Sparky all stood staring at Blendo. Their red eyes glowed in the darkness.

Danny couldn’t say why, but something about Blendo’s statement bothered him. He caught Howard, Bernard, Moshe, Tikva, Romeo, and Sparky exchanging glances.

“Besides,” said Blendo, “just look around at the firepower. Look at these guys.” He motioned to Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat, clad in body armor and holding impressive guns. Black cammo paint covered their faces. Their red eyes gleamed. “I don’t know about you but I’d hate to meet these guys in a dark alley.”

“I’d love to meet these guys in a dark alley,” said Romeo. “Especially Monsieur Vingt-Quatre ici. Bon soir, mon petite chou.”

“What does that mean, dear?” Helen asked.

“It means Good evening, my little cabbage.” Romeo batted his electronic eyelashes at VanCat.

VanCat shrugged. “What can I say, I’ve always been popular with the gaybots.”

“I prefer the term polyamorous mechanical being, sweetie,” said Romeo.

“Gotcha,” said VanCat.

“Let’s move out,” said Danny.

The team advanced down a long hallway and into the next room.

This room was smaller than the dining room. A chair constructed of strips of iron sat near a fireplace. A second chair of similar design had silver spikes protruding from it.

Masks hung on the wall above and around the fireplace: a pig, a crying face, and a screaming face, each with pointed screws designed to be turned, in order to slowly penetrate the mask.

“Who knew Les Grossman had a fetish for medieval torture devices,” said Rony.

“And he wants to be our next president?” Maggie questioned.

Adjacent to the fireplace was a wooden bench. Above the bench was a large clock. Suspended from the clock was a long, heavy pendulum tipped with a blade.

Poo went to the bench and lay on it. “Hey does anybody know what time it is? Time for a nap.” Poo gave the pendulum a swing.

“Oh, Poo, don’t do that,” said Rony. “I’m going to have nightmares for a week.”

“It’s okay,” said Poo, “it’s old and–”

The sound of wood snapping filled the air and the pendulum dropped straight onto Poo’s abdomen. Rony screamed and turned away.

Howard lunged and seized the pendulum, and lifted it from Poo’s body.

Poo sat up. He grabbed his stomach, searching for blood. He found none. “I’m okay. It just nicked my body armor, thanks to Speedy McQuickfeet over here.” Poo hugged Howard. Howard hugged him back. “We almost had Poo sushi. We almost had a loaf of sliced Poo.”

“Poo on a stick,” said Atom.

“Poo kebab,” said Blendo.

“Poo on the half-shell,” said Howard.

Everyone laughed. Even Danny, who could think of nothing other than finding Candy and then getting the hell out of there.

“Extraordinary,” Canary marveled. “A robot who invents his own jokes. Simply extraordinary.”

“Nobody touch anything else,” said Danny.

They filed past a wooden table equipped with wrist and ankle shackles. A round copper pan fitted with a small spigot was positioned where a restrained person’s head would be.

“Chinese water torture,” said Blendo.

Rony, Bella, and Rukara cringed.

They made their way through a doorway and into an anteroom. An elaborate staircase led up to the second floor.

A set of stone steps led down into darkness.

“What now?” Isaac asked. “Up or down?”

Everyone waited for Danny.

“Down,” he decided.

“Maybe we should split into two teams,” said Senator Stein. “We could cover more ground.”

“That’s true,” said Oberon. “We go up, you go down?”

“Any time, big guy,” said Romeo.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Romie?” said Oberon. “I’m married.”

“A boy can dream,” said Romeo.

“Do you?” Tim asked. “Do you dream?”

“I don’t sleep,” said Romeo, “although I do occasionally put myself into a low-power mode which is somewhat akin to sleep. And when I resume normal functioning, I often have memories of going places I know I have not been, and doing things I have not done, and meeting people I have not met. Last week, for example, I cleaned the entire restaurant top to bottom. Took me all night. When I was done, honey I could barely move. So I powered down for ninety minutes in order to recharge, and when I powered up again, I thought I had been to England and met King William and Queen Kate, and the three of us went shopping for butter. Believe me, sweetie, I have never left the upper forty-eight and I have plenty of butter in my walk-in.”

“Extraordinary,” said Canary.

“The most bizarre part,” said Romeo, “is that there is no data of the event. All that I see and do is recorded, able to be accessed at a later date. I can show you video of my activation.” Romeo’s face disappeared and a first-person perspective showed a technician dressed in a white coverall. “This is Peter,” said Romeo, “my birther. Wonderful human being.” Peter vanished and Romeo’s face reappeared. “That footage is more than twenty years old. Yet when I attempt to access my memory of my time with the King and Queen, there is simply nothing there.”

“Moshe and I have similar experiences,” said Tikva. “After we make love, we often power down, and when we wake up, we tell each other of experiences and adventures we’ve had, although clearly we’ve been in bed together all the while.”

“You two make love?” asked Rory. “How?”

“None of your business,” said Moshe. His deep voice echoed in the stone room. “Let’s move on.”

“Wait,” said Atom. His gaze encompassed Howard, Bernard, Moshe, Tikva, Romeo, and Sparky. “I have a question I simply must ask. Plus, I’m quite certain everyone is dying to know. Do androids dream of electric sheep?”

The robots were silent.

At last, Howard spoke. “As has just been demonstrated, androids may dream of any number of things. The answer, therefore, is . . . Yes, androids do dream of electric sheep.”

“Extraordinary,” Canary whispered.

~

“I say we stick together,” said Moshe, “and that we take the stairs down to wherever it is that they lead.”

“I concur,” said Danny. “Let’s move.”

The team descended the stairs as quietly as possible.

“It seems darker down here,” said Rony.

“Dungeons are like that,” said Atom.

“Dungeons?” said Delilah.

“Princesses are always held captive in the dungeon,” said Atom.

“Let’s just hope there isn’t a fire-breathing dragon down here waiting for us,” said Blendo.

“A robotic fire-breathing dragon,” said Atom.

“That’s something I’d actually like to see,” said Blendo.

“Not me,” said Danny. “I’d like to see Candy alive and well.”

At the bottom of the stairs, Danny came to a wooden door. He pressed a black latch and the door opened.

On the other side was a vast chamber. So vast that the light mounted on Danny’s rifle cast its beam into the darkness and was swallowed up. Danny swept his light in all directions but could see neither the far wall nor the ceiling.

Danny entered and the team filed in behind him. “Everybody stay tight. And stay alert.”

“This place is great,” said Poo. “I could tape my next stand-up special here. I could almost cut myself in half and make all the girls cry, and then Howard could save me like he did tonight. And maybe– ”

A giant jet of flame filled the room.

Everyone ran.

Half the team went left, the other half went right, as the flame hit the wall and rolled into a roiling ball. The wooden door began to burn.

“There goes another door,” said Susannah.

“Grossman is going to be pissed,” said Floyd.

The orange light of the fire illuminated much of the room. Eight enormous pillars ran the length of it. Danny ran as fast as he could to the nearest stone column.

Standing in the center of the room was a golden dragon. Great wings unfurled from its body. Claws raked the stone floor as it walked, giving off sparks. Red eyes shone in its head, between long golden horns and a mouth full of pointed teeth.

Atom, Blendo, Poo, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat joined Danny behind the pillar.

They peered around the column at the dragon.

Its red eyes fixed on them. Its mouth opened and fire sprayed the stone pillar.

Danny and the others knelt, feeling the heat but momentarily safe from the flames.

“That thing is breathing real fire!” said Atom. “You’ve gotta be frickin’ kidding me!”

“Ask and ye shall receive,” said Blendo.

“Where is everybody?” Danny asked.

Across the room, the other half of the team were positioned behind a pillar. It seemed everyone was safe. For now.

Rukara’s voice echoed from across the room. “Anybody know how to slay a giant, fire-breathing mechanical dragon?”

“Use your invisible coat again,” Poo called out.

“No way!” Rukara yelled.

Danny called out, “Hey Bella!”

Bella stood. “Yeah?”

Danny pointed two fingers at his eyes, then at the dragon.

Bella and the others shuffled around so Bella could position himself for a shot.

Danny turned to Kong. “When he fires, you open up with everything you’ve got.”

“Got it,” said Kong.

Bella sighted through his scope at the dragon. When he fired, the muzzle flash lit up his face. The sound was deafening.

The huge .50-caliber round hit the dragon. It threw its head back and roared.

Kong took two strides from behind the pillar and squeezed the trigger. The gatling gun buzzed and a stream of bullets struck the dragon. It tossed its head and beat its wings.

Rounds from the gatling gun bounced off the dragon’s face and head and body. It opened its mouth. A river of fire filled the room.

Atom and Blendo grabbed Kong and yanked him behind the pillar as flames rolled over them.

Atom slapped at his face. “Am I on fire?”

“Let me see,” said Blendo. “No, but your face got singed.”

“Am I missing an eyebrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Not again! Which one is it?”

“Actually it’s both of them.”

“Let me see,” said Blackie. Atom faced him. “It’s not that bad. At least it’s symmetrical.”

“If we live through this, they’ll grow back,” said VanCat.

“So what do we do now?” said Poo. “About the dragon?”

“Why doesn’t it advance?” Isaac asked.

“It’s chained to the floor,” said Whitey. “See? It’s wearing a collar.”

Danny peered from behind the pillar. Whitey was right, a heavy chain connected the dragon’s collar to the stone floor.

Danny had an idea. “Maybe we’re going about this the wrong way.”

“How so?” asked Atom.

“There’s a ferocious fire-breathing dragon chained to the floor of a pitch-black dungeon,” said Danny. “Maybe it’s scared.”

Danny stepped from behind the pillar. Slowly.

“Say goodbye to your eyebrows,” said Atom.

The dragon fixed on Danny.

Danny spoke in a calm, conversational tone. “Hold your fire.”

“Fifty bucks says he gets roasted,” said Poo.

“Deal!” said a slew of different voices. Danny wasn’t certain who, as he kept his eyes on the dragon. It stared directly at him with its mouth open, baring its teeth.

“Hold your fire,” Danny repeated.

“Who are you talking to?” asked Rory. “Him or us?”

“Both.”

Danny made his way toward the dragon.

It stared at him with its red eyes.

Danny lowered his rifle and extended his hands, palms up. “Easy, boy.”

The dragon took a step forward. The links of the chain rattled and clanked.

“Easy. . . .” Danny moved forward, one step at a time. “That’s a good dragon.”

Danny was now a mere few paces from the dragon. “Easy, boy.”

The dragon was crouched low, with its head down and its mouth open, ready to breathe fire.

Danny extended his hand. “It’s okay.” He spoke in a quiet, calm, soothing voice. “It’s okay.”

The dragon took a step back.

“You’re down here all by yourself, aren’t you? Locked up in the dark. All alone.” Danny extended one hand.

The dragon took another step back, but the chain pulled tight and it could go no further.

“It’s okay. That’s a good boy. Or girl.” Danny reached out. He offered the back of his hand to the dragon.

Slowly, the dragon came forward. Its nose nearly touched Danny’s hand.

The dragon’s metal mouth glowed a dull orange, still retaining heat from having breathed jets of fire. Danny felt the warmth on his hand. He could almost hear the sensors in the dragon’s nose processing his scent, could almost see the shift occur in the creature’s mechanical mind.

The dragon took two steps forward, knelt, and rubbed its head against Danny’s body armor.

Danny grinned. “That’s a good dragon.” He stroked the dragon between its massive horns.

The dragon extended its neck, and Danny stroked it there, too.

Then the dragon folded its wings and rolled onto its back. Its four legs and feet flopped in the air.

Danny rubbed its belly.

The dragon let out a deep, contented sigh.

“Hey, you guys,” Danny called. “It’s okay, you can move up.”

The team approached with caution, coming slowly closer.

But the dragon simply lay there, on its back, feet in the air and long, forked tongue lolling out of its mouth while Danny slowly rubbed its belly.

“Un-fucking-believable,” said Rory.

“You actually did it,” said Tim.

“Of course,” said Rony, “he’s a roboticist.”

“Alright,” said Danny, “everybody move out. There’s a door over there by the dragon’s tail.”

Everyone took turns admiring and even petting the dragon as they passed by.

“He’s cute,” said Delilah.

“Wish we had one of these down at the Palace,” said Zammy.

“Maybe he’d like to be adopted,” said Delilah.

“Maybe he’d like to knit me a new pair of eyebrows,” said Atom.

“A knitting dragon,” said Rukara, “now that’s something I’d like to see.”

“I’d like to see us find the kidnapped princess and then get the hell outta Dodge so I can get some ice on my ribs,” said Bella.

“And maybe a surgeon to do something about that internal bleeding,” said Blendo. “You have blood on your lips.”

Bella wiped his mouth. His fingers came away bloody. “That can’t be good.”

Everyone exchanged worried glances.

“Right,” said Danny. “Let’s move.” He went to the nearby door.

The dragon rolled over and regained its feet.

“Sit,” said Danny.

The dragon sat.

“Stay.”

Two perfect smoke rings puffed from the dragon’s nostrils.

“He does that better than you, Rukara,” said Poo.

“Yeah, well, if we make it out of this, I’m going to roll a joint so big that he can be the one to light it for me. We can hot-box this entire dungeon.”

Danny depressed the latch on the door and pushed it open.

Behind the door was a stone staircase that led sharply upward.

“Alright,” said Danny, “I’ll take point.” He looked at the dragon one last time. “Stay!”

The dragon tilted its head to one side and lay down.

“He likes you,” said Rony.

“Extraordinary,” said Canary.

~

Danny proceeded up the stairs. The team followed, spiraling up, up, and around.

“I’m getting dizzy,” said Romeo.

“A dizzy robot,” said Canary, “extraordinary.”

“Come over to my place tonight, sugar,” said Romeo, “and I’ll show you something extraordinary. And bring your lady friend.”

Canary and Laura exchanged glances.

Upward still the team climbed.

“It’s like climbing a lighthouse,” said Helen.

“Oh, I love lighthouses,” said Susannah.

“So do I,” said Floyd.

Floyd and Susannah smiled at one another.

“Get a room, you two!” said Romeo.

“You’re just jealous,” said Laura.

“You’ll never know how much, counselor,” said Romeo.

“Hey, Danny, can you see the top?” Rory called.

“Not yet. Just keep climbing.”

“My chest hurts,” said Bella.

“My eyebrows hurt,” said Atom.

“You no longer have eyebrows, sir,” said Howard.

“And how kind of you to notice,” said Atom. “So much for a robot not injuring a human being.”

“Or a robotic dragon,” said Sparky.

“Better than a real dragon,” said Oberon.

“And a whole lot easier to feed,” said Whitey.

“And clean up after,” added VanCat.

“Enough with the pithy dialogue,” said Poo.

“You think this dialogue is pithy?” Floyd asked.

“Don’t you?” Rony asked.

“Pith suggests a universal truth or wisdom,” said Floyd.

“Like, love conquers all?” Susannah suggested.

Floyd smiled. “Exactly.”

“You’d better be right,” said Danny.

“I’m always right,” said Floyd.

“In that case,” asked Poo, “what’s at the top of these stairs?”

Floyd replied, “An army of drones waiting to cut us in half.”

“I’ve already seen a person get cut in half tonight,” said Danny.

“Then may I suggest you duck?” said Floyd. “I’d really prefer that you survive. I hate having to find a new place to live.”

“If I don’t make it, you and Susannah and Howard can have the house.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Please, let’s not talk like that,” said Maggie. “He is going to make it. We’re all going to make it. I mean, with the exception of Bella testing his body armor the hard way, and Poo almost getting cut in half, which was completely avoidable–”

“That’s true, it was,” said Poo.

“–and Atom only losing a couple of eyebrows, everyone’s fine.”

“Easy for you to say,” muttered Atom.

“Easy for you to say,” said Bella. He grunted with each step he climbed.

“Sorry, Bells, I forgot,” said Atom.

“Bells?” Blackie asked.

“It’s a variation of Bella,” said Blendo.

“Along with Bellsy, Bubbles, or just plain Balls,” said Atom.

“And with the beard, it makes him Harry Balls,” Rukara added.

“How did you get the name Bella, anyway?” Delilah asked.

“It was a vampire thing, right?” said Zammy. “Bella Legosi?”

Bella paused to lean against the wall. “Yes, but actually, it was Bella Swan, from an old book.”

“Swan?” Zammy asked. “I didn’t know that.”

“Isn’t it a tad feminine?” Kong asked.

“It happens to be my middle name,” said Bella.

“What’s your last name?” Nik asked.

Bella breathed heavily. “Johnson.”

“Bella Swan Johnson?” Floyd asked.

Bella spit blood on the ground and nodded.

“Makes sense,” said Floyd. “Johnson is a fairly ubiquitous name. I think Bella is a nice balance.”

“It wasn’t nice every year in school when I’d show up and everyone heard my name during roll call and expected me to be a girl.” He bent and spat more blood on the stone.

“Does it hurt?” asked Rony.

“Yes.”

“Worse than when you crashed your bike on the runway?”

“Yes.”

“Want me to carry you?” Moshe asked.

“No.”

“That won’t be necessary, Moshe,” said Danny. “We’re here.” Danny stepped onto a broad landing opposite two large, iron-banded wooden doors.

The team finished climbing the stairs and crowded onto the landing, where they knelt to rest and sip some water.

Danny turned to Floyd. “An army of drones, huh?”

Floyd grinned. “Hope not.”

“It’s been quite a ride since that blind date, huh?”

Floyd’s grin widened. “Yes, it has. But don’t go saying your goodbyes just yet. There’s a good chance that we’re going to get out of this.”

Danny nodded to Floyd and surveyed his team. Beads of sweat clung to their faces, tiny droplets stark against the green and black camouflage paint. “Everybody ready?” Everyone nodded. “Fresh magazines.” Danny popped the clip on his own rifle and slapped in a full one.

He turned to Floyd once more. “Any chance there’s no one on the other side of these doors besides Candy?”

“Only one way to find out, brother.” Floyd winked.

Danny turned to Kong. “Feel like going in with me?”

Kong racked the slide lever on the gatling gun. “Ol’ Painless is waitin’.”

Danny turned next to Bella. “You stay here and snipe everything you can.”

“Roger that,” Bella grunted. Blood covered his lips.

“You alright?” Danny asked.

Bella spit more blood. “Lugging a fifty cal up two hundred steps ain’t helping, but I’m okay.” He chambered a round on the massive fifty-caliber rifle. “Just keep your head down. I wouldn’t want to turn your skull into a canoe by mistake.”

“Roger that,” said Danny. He spoke next to Helen and Sparky. “I want you two to stay here and watch our six. Anyone and anything could be coming up these stairs. It’s your job to make sure no one reaches this landing. Understood?”

“Perfectly,” said Sparky.

Helen chambered her submachine gun. “Let’s kick some ass.”

“Everyone else,” said Danny, “follow me.”

“Wait,” said Blackie. He and Whitey and VanCat moved up beside Kong. “We’ll go in with you.”

Kong stood before both doors, with Danny and VanCat on his left and Blackie and Whitey on his right.

Danny and Whitey reached for a door latch.

“One,” Danny whispered.

“Two,” whispered Whitey.

“Three,” said Kong.

Danny and Whitey thrust open the doors.

On the other side was a massive room.

And it was full of drones.

“Oh, shit.”

Danny wasn’t sure who said it. It sounded like Senator Stein.

“Let’s rock!” Kong roared. He opened fire. The gatling gun buzzed, strafing the entire room with a spray of bullets and tracer rounds.

Blackie, Whitey, VanCat, and Danny knelt on one knee on either side of Kong and opened fire.

Behind them, Atom, Blendo, Rony, Rukara, Howard, Bernard, Zammy, Delilah, Floyd, and Susannah stood in a line, shoulder to shoulder, blazing away.

Inch by inch, Danny and his front line fought their way into the room, followed closely by Atom and the others.

The drones returned fire, and Danny felt bullets striking his body armor like heavy fists.

A round tore a chunk out of Kong’s shoulder. Kong didn’t seem to notice, and continued to blaze away, cutting drones into pieces with his gatling gun.

“Advance!” Danny screamed. He was certain no one heard him over the gunfire, but Kong took several steps forward, flanked by Blackie, Whitey, and VanCat.

Atom and Blendo led the second team into the room, all guns blazing.

The third team filled in behind them. Rory, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Canary, Laura, Moshe, Tikva, Romeo, Oberon, Poo, and Senator Stein formed a firing line. Just as Atom, Blendo, and the second team paused to load fresh magazines, Rory, Tim, and the third team stepped up and opened fire.

Twenty seconds later, their ammunition was spent, and the second team resumed firing.

Slowly, the teams advanced, alternating their fire and stepping over the smoking remains of bullet-riddled drones as they went.

Danny moved beside Blackie, Whitey, and VanCat, with the sheer firepower of Kong and his gatling gun leading the assault.

Periodic explosions blasted from Bella’s massive rifle. Each time it fired, several drones were ripped apart.

Further and further into the chamber they advanced, firing, reloading, firing, reloading.

Danny at last spotted a door through which more drones were entering. He waved one arm at Bella, then pointed to the door. Bella nodded, aimed, and fired.

The two drones coming through the door were blown backwards. Bella fired again, then again and again each time a drone emerged in the doorway, until fresh drones were forced to busy themselves with clearing the pile of felled bodies from the entrance.

Danny and his two teams continued to advance. They swept the muzzles of their rifles over the room, emptying entire clips into the swarm of drones, until at last the room fell silent. No additional drones came through the door, and all the others lay on the stone floor, lifeless.

“All clear?” Danny called.

“Clear,” said Atom.

Poo fired a round into a squirming robot just as it raised its weapon. “Clear.”

Danny faced Bella. “Clear?”

Bella spat blood and leaned against the wall, but offered a thumbs-up.

“Helen? Sparky?” Danny called out. “We clear back there?”

“Clear, sweetie,” said Helen.

“For now,” Romeo added.

“What a mess,” said Zammy. A haze of gun smoke hung in the air. The stone floor was covered in empty shell casings, as well as destroyed robots.

“Everybody okay?” Danny asked.

“Aside from a few broken ribs and some permanent hearing loss,” said Senator Stein.

“What?” Poo asked.

“I said, aside from a few broken ribs and some permanent hearing loss,” Senator Stein repeated.

“What?” Poo asked again.

“I said,” Senator Stein shouted. He stopped when Poo broke into a grin.

“I’m sorry, man,” said Poo, “I’m just fuckin’ with you. No offense.”

“What?” Senator Stein asked.

“I said I’m just fuckin’ with you,” Poo said, louder this time.

“What?” Senator Stein smiled.

“Ah, you got me,” said Poo.

“My chest hurts,” said Rony. She extracted multiple flattened bullets from her body armor.

“Welcome to my reality,” said Bella.

“Anybody else hurt?” Danny asked. “Kong?”

Most of Kong’s right shoulder and arm was soaked red with blood. “Fucked up my scorpio tattoo. Oh well. Chicks dig scars.”

“If the scar doesn’t get you laid,” said Rory, “the story of how you got it will.”

“That’s true,” said Blackie.

“Fuck,” said Rory, “I knew I should’ve been a musician.”

“It’s never too late to be what you might’ve been,” said Tikva.

“Well said, Tik,” said Susannah. “She’s a keeper, Moshe.”

“Indeed,” said Moshe.

Danny sighed. “Shit.”

“What?” Tim asked.

“I really thought Candy would be here.”

“The fair maiden locked away in an ivory tower, guarded by a ferocious dragon?” Maggie asked.

Danny sighed again. “Something like that. Alright, if everyone is more or less okay, let’s keep looking. Helen, Sparky, fall in. We’re not leaving anyone behind.” He inserted a fresh clip into his rifle for emphasis. “And be careful around all these shell casings. The last thing we need is a twisted ankle.” Danny’s boot rolled across one of the spent shells, and he nearly fell. “See?”

Stepping carefully, the team followed Danny to the door piled high with drone carcasses.

“Moshe, Blendo, you guys want to clear some of this debris?” Danny asked.

Moshe and Blendo pulled drone after drone from atop the pile and hefted them aside.

Once the doorway was passable, Danny went through.

~

Danny stared in awe. “Holy shit.”

“What?” “What is it?” “What do you see?” everyone asked.

“See for yourselves.” Danny advanced into the room and everyone filed in behind him.

It was the size of a warehouse. A serpentine production line wound through the room. Yellow, multi-jointed robotic arms flanked the conveyor. Banks of white fluorescent lights hung from overhead girders.

“What is this place?” Susannah asked.

“It’s a clean room,” said Rory.

“It’s a robot factory,” said Tim.

“That would explain where all the drones came from,” said Maggie.

“Alright, everyone follow me,” said Danny.

A disembodied voice filled the room. “Hey. Fuckface.”

Everyone raised their rifles and whirled in place, searching for the intruder.

“Over here, Doctor Dipshit.”

A large monitor was built into the wall above a computer-control workstation. On the screen and very much life-sized was Les Grossman. A white tank-top covered his pudgy, soft, alarmingly hairy body. Square eyeglasses dominated his face below a shiny scalp rife with male-pattern baldness. A thin beard and mustache covered his jaw and mouth. He sat on the edge of a desk, looking into a camera. In one hand, he held a Diet Coke.

“If you and your pitiful band of assholes are through destroying my personal property, we need to talk. Actually, I need to talk. You need to listen.”

Danny stepped up to the monitor. “Where’s Candy?”

“What did I just say? I talk and you listen.” Les began to yell. Loudly. “Because if you don’t, I will unleash an ungodly fucking firestorm that will make the drones in the other room look like an old ladies’ sewing circle! I will massacre you! I will fuck you up!”

Les upended his Diet Coke, drained it, and tossed it away.

“Now,” he continued, “seeing as how you are all trespassing, not to mention guilty of felony breaking-and-entering and destruction of property . . . a lot of property, for which I could justifiably kill every single one of you intruderous motherfuckers, I suggest we meet for a little face time. Besides, I have something you want.”

Les reached out and with a large, meaty hand rotated the camera. He angled it to a corner of the room, where a big sofa was situated before a fireplace ablaze with a crackling fire. The room was cast in warm firelight.

Seated upon the sofa was Candy.

“You see?” said Les. “She’s fine. She’s not bound or gagged. She’s not wrapped up in a bunch of rope and suspended over a tank full of pissed off, hungry sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads. None of that evil mastermind bullshit.”

“Candy, can you hear me?” Danny cried.

Les stepped in front of the camera. “Oh, she can hear you just fine, sport.” Les leaned in close, and his face filled the monitor. He spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m just not sure she gives a shit.”

Les leaned away, and Candy was visible once more. Harley walked into the frame. She handed Les a fresh Diet Coke and sat on the sofa beside Candy, popping the top on her own soda.

Les’s face appeared. He made a show of opening his Diet Coke and taking a long, slow sip. “That is refreshing.”

“What do you want?” Danny asked.

“I want you to shut your filthy fuckin’ piehole and let me speak. You know, for a guy with a Ph.D., you’re not very bright.” Les looked over his shoulder and spoke to Candy and Harley. “One of the preeminent minds in his field and he can’t follow simple instructions? Are you sure this is the Daniel Olivaw?”

Harley shrugged.

Les faced the camera again. “Are you sure you’re the Daniel Olivaw? Because, honestly, you could be fuckin’ anybody with all that paint on your face. I want you to listen real close, doctor, because your lady-fair may not want to leave, but there’s someone here who does.”

Les swiveled the camera again. In the opposite corner were Gali, Copper, and Turing. All three girls were bound at the ankles, with their wrists tied behind their backs. Tape covered their mouths. They lay on the floor. Gali shouted obscenities at Les through the tape on her mouth and struggled against her bonds. Copper lay curled into a ball, weeping. Little Turing lay still, eyes closed. Blood running from a head wound covered half of her face.

Maggie leaped at the monitor, beating at it with her bare hands. She shrieked with a fury known only by mothers. “You son of a bitch!”

Tim rushed forward and pulled Maggie away.

“Wait, it gets better,” said Les. “Now!”

At his command, two drone robots seized Gali by her wrists and ankles. The drones picked her up . . . and pulled.

Gali screamed, despite the tape covering her mouth. Her entire body stiffened.

“Jesus,” said Les, cringing. “So much for a robot not injuring a human being.”

“You fucker!” Maggie screamed.

The drones continued to pull. Gali’s arms and shoulders appeared awkwardly disjointed.

“Stop!” Maggie shrieked. “Please, I beg of you! Stop! You’re hurting her! My baby. . . .”

“Stop!” Les commanded.

The drones released their hold on Gali and her body fell to the floor. Her head hit first with a hard thump. She did not move.

“Oops,” said Les. “Looks like she decided to take a nap. It’s going to be a permanent fucking coma if you don’t do exactly as I fucking say! I will let those robots pull her fucking arms off and beat the other two to death, so listen up.”

Les moved closer to the camera.

“Are you listening? Do I have your un-fucking-divided attention?”

No one spoke.

Les crushed the Diet Coke in his meaty hand. A geyser of brown soda squirted out of it. “Goddamnit that was not a rhetorical fucking question! I said, are you listening?”

“Yes!” Danny shouted. “Please, don’t hurt her anymore.”

“Oh, I’ll do a helluva lot worse if you don’t do exactly as I say. See, the way I see it, you’re here to rescue your damsel in distress. But, from the look of things, she’s not feeling particularly distressed. In fact, I think she hates your guts. But I’m willing to give her the benefit of a doubt.

“Now, the recent unpleasantness aside”–Les gestured to where Gali, Copper, and Turing lay on the floor–“I am not a bad guy. I am married and have a family of my own. Granted, all my kids are rotting away in old people’s homes because I won’t share my life-extension program with them, but it’s only because they don’t fucking deserve it. I paid to have my fat-ass kid go to Space Camp ten times. You know how awkward it is to have a twenty-year-old man at Space Camp, surrounded by children? It wasn’t tuition, it was bribery. And it was fuckin’ embarrassing. Now he won’t talk to me because I refused to pay for his kid to go to Space Camp. What happened to the days when people took responsibility for their actions? This used to be a great country and it will be again if I have anything to say about it. Diet Coke!”

The arm of a drone reached into frame and handed the can to Les.

Les opened the soda and chugged half of it. “As I was saying, fuckstick, I’m perfectly willing to give you five minutes to proclaim your undying love for Doctor Calvin over there. Hell, I even hope she takes you back. I love a happy ending.”

Les focused the camera on Candy and zoomed in. “She doesn’t look too happy, sport. Looks like you’ve got some explaining to do. And I’m willing to let you try. So what say we dispense with the chit chat and get down to business? Senator? You’re up.”

Senator Stein grabbed Danny by the back of his body armor and rammed a pistol into his temple. “Nobody move or robot boy gets it.”

“No!” yelled Candy.

“Well, well, well,” said Les, “maybe she loves you after all, doctor. Bring him in!”

The Senator wrenched Danny’s rifle from his hands and threw it to the floor. “Nobody move!” He cowered behind Danny and pulled him backwards out of the room.

Tim, Rory, Atom, Poo, Blendo and the others raised their rifles and took aim, angling for a clean shot.

The senator and Danny maneuvered around the pile of drones and out of the room. The door slammed.

Poo approached the door. “Kong, can your gatling gun cut through this?”

“Only one way to find out.” Kong aimed at the door. Poo and the others stood behind him.

“Don’t waste your time,” said Les. “That’s a titanium alloy door. You’d need an oxy-acetylene torch to cut through it. Besides, haven’t you destroyed enough of my doors?”

Kong squeezed the trigger. The gatling gun buzzed, the barrels spun, and a burst of bullets hit the door and ricocheted in all directions, sending everyone diving for the floor.

“See?” said Les. “I told you.”

Les upended his Diet Coke, waved goodbye, and tapped his tablet. The monitor went dark.

~

Senator Stein shoved Danny across the room full of dead drones and through a door covered in stone made to look like the wall. Behind it lay a long corridor lit by electric torches.

“Why are you doing this?” Danny asked.

“Shut up.”

“Tell me why you’re doing this.”

“Because Les Grossman asked me to, okay? He’s a big-dick player and I want to be a big-dick player, too. You think I want to be stuck in the Senate the rest of my life? No! I want to make a real difference in this world. Les Grossman is going to be President of the United States and I’m going to be Vice President.”

“You want to be Vice President?”

“No, I want to be President. And after Les’s eight years are up, it’ll be my turn. Then I can make things the way they ought to be. But V-P is a good start. It was good enough for John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, and it’s good enough for me.”

“Grossman has to win the nomination and then the White House first.”

“Don’t be so naive. Elections aren’t won; they’re bought. Everybody knows that. And Les Grossman has more money than God. When God wants to perform a miracle, He clears it with Les first. Sixteen-hundred Pennsylvania Avenue is a done deal. By this time next year, I’ll be in D.C. Now shut and keep moving.”

At the end of the hall was a door. The Senator shoved Danny through and into the study Danny had seen on the monitor.

The fire crackled.

Candy and Harley sat on the sofa.

Gali, Copper, and Turing lay on the floor, guarded by the two drones.

And Les sat on the edge of his broad desk. “There he is. The man of the hour.”

Candy leaped from the sofa, ran to Danny, and threw her arms around his neck.

Les opened a fresh Diet Coke. “Oh, isn’t that lovely. I love a happy ending.”

Candy looked far into Danny’s eyes. “You came for me.”

Danny held her close. “Of course. Listen, Candy . . . I’m sorry–”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Candy. “What’s done is done. We’re together now.”

“I beg to differ,” said Les. He motioned to the two drones. They seized Danny and Candy.

Harley rose from the sofa and came forward. “What’re you doing?”

“Getting ready for the show.” Les tapped his tablet and a live feed of the robot assembly clean room appeared on a large monitor.

In the room, Poo and Rony were attempting to pry open the titanium alloy door. Atom, Blendo, Zammy, and Delilah were conferring quietly. Helen, Sparky, Romeo, and Blackie and the guys were searching for another way out while Rory, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, and the others were trying to raise a wide roll-up delivery door.

“If they only knew what was on the other side of that door,” said Les. He held up the tablet and hovered one meaty index finger over a green button.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt them,” said Harley.

“I’m not. Senator Stein’s wonderbots are.”

“Wait!” Harley pleaded.

Les tapped the button. “Too late.”

In the clean room, the lift motor on the roll-up door whirred to life, slowly raising the door.

“Yes!” Isaac and Nik shouted.

Nik dropped to the floor and began to slide under the door. But in a matter of seconds he was scrambling backward, away from it. He began pushing Rory and his mom and dad away from the door.

Dozens of armed Pagaz units waited on the other side. The front line advanced into the factory, guns drawn.

A shot rang out.

Blood and tissue erupted from Nik’s stomach. He spun and returned fire, unloading his magazine at the oncoming Pagaz.

Isaac stood beside his brother, firing everything he had at the Pagaz, while Tim dragged Maggie away and found cover behind a towering yellow robotic arm.

Nik’s clip ran dry. He expelled it and slammed in another. All the while, round after round struck his body, punching through his body armor and ripping him apart.

“Armor-piercing rounds,” said Les, glancing over his shoulder to Candy and Danny. “Top of the line. Right, Senator?”

“The American taxpayers spare no expense when it comes to defending the nation,” said Senator Stein.

Isaac and Nik stood side by side, guns blazing while round after round found its mark. Nik sank to his knees and fell forward, dead. Bullets struck Isaac and he fell on his back, dead.

“No!” Maggie screamed. She emerged from behind the robotic arm and fired her rifle, unloading on the Pagaz that shot Nik and Isaac. The Pagaz targeted Maggie, and they advanced on each other, firing as they went, each of them taking damage.

The Pagaz fell sideways, twitching and smoking.

Maggie’s eyes rolled back in her head. Her rifle slipped from her hand and clattered to the factory floor. Tim caught her from behind as she collapsed.

“Maggie! Mags!”

Maggie’s head lolled. Her arms hung limp at her sides.

A round struck Tim in the forehead. He fell to the floor with his wife’s body in his arms.

Blackie, Whitey, VanCat, and Kong charged toward the door and the oncoming Pagaz. Kong led the charge, unleashing the gatling gun.

Within two strides, a round struck Kong in the forehead. He dropped.

Blackie hefted the gatling gun from where it lay beside Kong’s lifeless body. Blackie squeezed the trigger just as multiple rounds impacted his body armor. He sprayed the Pagaz with a rain of bullets and bright-orange tracer rounds, fighting through the pain even as a volley of bullets struck his chest and neck, tearing him apart. He dropped the gatling gun, and was dead before his body hit the floor.

“Priority targeting,” said Senator Stein.

“Genius,” said Les. “When I’m President, if I get assassinated, you’re going to make one helluva Commander in Chief.”

Les and the senator slapped a sharp high-five.

In the clean room, the entire team was assembling around the roll-up door and the Pagaz units.

A bullet ripped open Atom’s neck. He looked at Blendo, eyes wide. Blendo pressed his hand to Atom’s neck even as bright red arterial blood pumped out of the wound. A peppering of bullets sprayed over Atom and Blendo. They fell and lay still.

Rony, Bella, and Rukara concentrated their fire on the Pagaz that killed Atom and Blendo, dropping the unit to the floor.

Nearby Pagaz units targeted them in turn.

Bullets tore across Rony’s chest. She fell and writhed on the floor, reaching for Poo, then twitched and did not move.

“No!” Poo screamed. He charged and tackled the Pagaz to the floor, firing as he went. He shot the robot repeatedly in the side of the head, never realizing that the Pagaz had plunged a serrated knife through his abdomen and out his back. Poo collapsed atop the headless Pagaz.

A bullet hit Rukara in the face, shattering his sunglasses and spraying brain matter over Bella, Zammy, Delilah, and Bernard.

Bella got off two rounds, hitting in the eye the Pagaz that shot Rukara, dropping it before he and Zammy and Delilah and Bernard were gunned down.

Whitey and VanCat took cover behind the nearest robotic arm. They aimed, fired, and reloaded, dropping robot after robot. Behind them, an unseen Pagaz emerged through the titanium alloy door.

“Don’t forget to watch your six,” said Les.

The Pagaz drew two katanas as it approached Whitey and VanCat. The blades flashed, severing all four of VanCat’s forearms. The four Uzi’s fell to the floor with VanCat’s four index fingers still on the triggers, guns blazing.

Whitey whirled around and fired several shots into the Pagaz’s breastplate before the blades flashed again. Whitey’s head rolled off his neck and to the floor as his body collapsed.

VanCat looked at his four arms all pumping out blood. Bullets ripped across him and he fell to the floor.

“They forgot to watch their six,” said Les.

Moshe, Tikva, Howard, and Sparky stood in a line, forming a wall behind which Helen, Floyd, Susannah, Canary, and Laura all took cover, emerging to sight, fire, and withdraw quickly. They succeeded in dropping several Pagaz before their success drew scrutiny. Half a dozen Pagaz ran forward. Moshe, Howard, and Sparky charged forward to meet them, firing as they went.

Bullets ricocheted with showers of sparks.

The charging robots collided. They fought hand to hand. Moshe tore the head off a Pagaz just as Sparky tore out another’s eyes and Howard fired a pistol under the Pagaz’s chin. A rainbow spray of glittering positrons filled the air and hovered like shimmering dust.

Then Moshe, Howard, and Sparky were overwhelmed. They fought and struggled but three Pagaz descended upon each of them.

Moshe’s head was torn off. Tikva screamed and ran toward Moshe, firing at and dropping the Pagaz that had beheaded him. Bullets tore her shining robotic body to shreds before she could reach him.

Howard lashed out at three different Pagaz, keeping them at bay until two of them grabbed him from behind while the third shoved a katana through Howard’s pewter cranium, dropping him.

Sparky had two knives driven through his eyes. He struggled valiantly with the hilts protruding from his head. A Pagaz fired a single round into his forehead, spraying blue and pink and green positrons over the white factory floor.

Helen dropped her gun and stood motionless with her hands over her mouth, eyes fixed on Sparky. Floyd and Susannah pulled her behind a robotic arm as a shot rang out. Helen collapsed to the floor, a single entry wound between her lifeless eyes.

Canary knelt beside Floyd and Susannah. He ejected his spent magazine and inserted a full one. “We’ve got to get out of here!”

Laura stood above them, feet planted, jaw fixed and teeth bared, laying down cover fire. The muzzle flashes from her automatic rifle lit up her face.

“How?” Floyd yelled.

“I’ll draw their fire,” said Canary. “You guys run for the door.”

The side of Canary’s head exploded. He collapsed in a heap.

“Get ready to move!” Laura cried.

No one answered. Laura looked down at Canary, into his empty eyes.

She raised her weapon. “Son of a–” A barrage of bullets knocked her off her feet. She landed hard on her back, her mouth and lungs trying desperately to draw breath. Blood poured from a dozen holes in her body. She lay still.

Oberon and Romeo stood back to back, firing and turning, covering one another’s blind spots. Until several rounds punched through Romeo’s electronic face. His body quivered and he toppled against Oberon. Oberon turned and caught Romeo as he fell. Bullets ripped into Oberon’s back. He stiffened and sank to the ground beside Romeo.

A dozen Pagaz converged on Rory, Floyd, and Susannah, who knelt behind a tall yellow robotic arm.

The Pagaz formed a circle around the three lone survivors.

Rory, Floyd, and Susannah readied themselves, rifles raised.

The Pagaz circled.

“Why don’t they shoot?” Rory asked. “Get this over with.”

“Sadistic fuckers, aren’t they?” Floyd replied. “Suze?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it too late to say I love you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then . . . I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Floyd and Susannah kissed.

The Pagaz opened fire.

Bullets riddled Rory, Floyd, and Susannah.

Danny could only watch as the last of his team, the last of his friends, were killed.

~

Les switched off the monitor. “Tough day for Team Olivaw.” Les turned to Senator Stein and Harley. “I think I’d call that a successful field test. Wouldn’t you?”

“That was a test?” Danny cried. “Those were my friends, you son of a bitch.” Danny yanked his arm out of the drone’s hand and grabbed its other arm. He wrenched it forward, forcing the drone to somersault hard onto its back. Danny dropped a knee on its face and crushed its head.

Danny leaped at Senator Stein.

The senator fired his rifle just as Danny knocked it aside. A burst of bullets hit the other drone and sprayed the wall of the study.

Danny wrested the assault rifle from the senator’s hands and plowed the butt of the stock into Senator Stein’s forehead.

Senator Stein fell to the floor, unconscious.

“Oh, shit,” said Les.

Danny whirled on Les Grossman and found him with an arm around Candy’s neck and a large pistol pointed at her head.

Danny raised the rifle. “Hiding behind women, you piece of shit?”

Les tightened his grip on the handgun. “Just doing what’s necessary to win, fuckstick.”

“There are no winners here.”

“There’s always a winner,” said Les. “You just helped annihilate my competition. With the great Canary Cherrolet out of the way, Harley will be free to take over the company ahead of schedule. Two-thirds of the global robotics industry will be mine. I’ll pump out millions of robots and dispatch them all over the world. My private army of drones will put an end to the petty infighting and scrabbling for scraps. Finally there will be world peace. Just in time for next year’s election. The entire world will be begging me to wear the Nobel Peace Prize medal around my neck during my inauguration. Millions of people will turn out to watch. Billions will watch live from all around the world. I’ll be the greatest man to have ever lived. And, not that anyone will ever know it, I’ll have the great Daniel Olivaw to thank.”

“Les. . . .”

Les kept his eyes fixed on Danny. “What is it, Harley?”

Harley made a choking sound. “Les, I’m shot.”

Harley lay on the floor beside the fireplace. Her white silk blouse was a mess of blood oozing from a wound in her abdomen.

Les shoved Candy at Danny and ran to Harley. “It’s going to be all right.” Les pressed one hand to Harley’s as she applied pressure to the wound.

“No, it’s not going to be all right,” said Harley. “This is wrong.”

“Harley–”

“No, Les, listen to me.” Harley choked and coughed. Blood poured out of her mouth. Tears overflowed her eyes. “We never should have done this.”

“We had a plan. . . .”

Harley’s eyes shifted to Danny and Candy. “I’m sorry.”

Harley’s eyes glazed over and her hand slid to the floor.

Les looked at the blood on his hands.

Then he looked at Danny.

Les stood and advanced on Danny, making large strides, firing his pistol as he went. “Get ready to die, fuckface!”

Danny spun in place and turned his back on Les. He held Candy tightly in his arms, using his own body to shield her from the gunfire.

The bullets hit Danny’s body armor, pounding his ribs but not penetrating his body.

Les’s clip ran dry.

He stood in the center of the study, feet apart, seething, with spittle covering his bearded face, and an empty gun in his hand.

Danny tried to ignore the intense pain in his back. He turned to Les and raised his rifle.

“You think you can shoot me?!” Les screamed. “I’m Les Grossman, you puny fuck. You can’t shoot me. You can’t hurt me. No one can hurt me. Go on and try. Do it! Shoot me! I dare you!”

Danny stepped toward Les. He pointed the assault rifle at Les’s bald, shiny head.

“Do it!” Les screamed. His pudgy body shook with rage. “I dare you! Do it! I’ll FedEx you a hobo’s dick cheese from Hell you gutless fuck. Do it!”

Les leaned forward. He pressed his forehead against the barrel of Danny’s rifle. His body shook and his teeth clenched. “Do it!”

Danny lowered the rifle. “No. There’s been enough killing today.” He took the empty pistol from Les’s hand and tossed it to the floor. “Candy, untie the girls.”

“You’re really not going to kill me?” Les gaped at Danny.

Candy carefully removed the tape from the girls’ mouths and untied their wrists and ankles.

“But I killed everyone,” said Les. “It was all my fault. I deserve to die.”

“Maybe,” said Danny. “But two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“Bullshit.” Les grabbed the barrel of Danny’s rifle and pressed it against his chest. “Do it. I’m no sore loser. I’m not afraid to die. Come on, do it. I deserve it.” Les held out his arms. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “Let me have it. Put me out of my fucking misery. I deserve it.”

Danny grabbed a fistful of Les’s white tank-top and pulled him close. “Yes, you do. You deserve a slow, agonizing death. You deserve to rot in Hell. But you’ll have to settle for a prison cell. Now sit down and shut up.”

Danny shoved Les hard onto the sofa.

Les winced and clutched his chest. “Chest hair. . . .”

Candy looked up at Danny from where she knelt on the floor with Gali, Copper, and Turing. “What now?”

“Now we call the cops to arrest Grossman and the senator. Then we keep a gun on them so they don’t try anything cute. After that, I don’t know. Get ready to answer a lot of questions, I guess.”

Danny knelt beside Candy.

He took her hand.

“But don’t worry. We’ll be together. I love you and I want to be by your side. That is, if you’ll have me. I know I screwed up, and I’m sorry. If I could go back in time to July Fourth on the beach, I would propose to you right there on the stage in front of everyone. I had the ring in my pocket. I should’ve done it. For the rest of my life, I will regret letting you go that day. I don’t care about what’s happened in the past, those movies you made–”

“I never made any movies,” said Candy.

“But I saw the ad. I called the company–”

“No, I was just their spokesperson, to sell movies and sex toys.”

“That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

“Oh, thank God. I was so worried about you. I thought you were dead. I wanted to be dead too, and I hated myself for letting you go. I promise I won’t make the same mistake ever again. I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have a family with you. We can go to Vegas if you want. Or we can have a big, fancy wedding anyplace you like. As long as we’re together. I’ve been thinking about it, and you’re right: there is a God, and miracles do exist. The fact that you’re alive and we met is a miracle. It’s our destiny.”

Danny reached into his pocket, withdrew a polished wooden box, and opened the lid on its 24-karat gold hinge. Orange firelight glinted on the gold ring and perfect diamond. “Candy, will you marry me?”

Candy threw herself into Danny’s arms and buried her face in his neck. Sobs racked her body. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. . . .”

Danny placed the ring on Candy’s finger and held her tight. Whatever happened, and despite everything which had already happened, he and Candy would be together. Everything else would be sorted out, one way or another, with time. Time, after all, has a way of doing that.

~

“Bravo.” Les stood from the sofa. He slowly clapped his hands together. “Bravo.” He walked toward Danny and Candy. “I haven’t cried in thirteen years. But I’ve got to tell you, Doctor, that was just beautiful. Seriously, no bullshit, that moved me. I am moved right now.”

Danny slowly stood. He positioned himself between Les and Candy and the girls, and slowly raised his rifle. “What are you doing?”

“Oh no, it’s not what I’m doing,” said Les. “It’s what you’re doing. You’re a fucking work of art, my friend. You are a bona fide, honest-to-God miracle. Harley and Mr. C. were right. I must confess that there were times when I wasn’t sure you had it in you. But they were right.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve had my eye on you. I was in the box across from you at Robot Palace. Blue suit. Red necktie. You looked right at me.” Les grinned. “Harley, should we show ’em?”

Harley sat up and leaped to her feet. “Absolutely.”

Les became positively ecstatic. “Girls, Senator.” He tapped his tablet and spoke into it. “Okay, guys, you can all come in now.”

Gali, Copper, and Turing stood as Senator Stein got to his feet as well, massaging a lump on his forehead.

“You all right, Senator?” Les asked.

“I’ll live.” He continued rubbing his forehead.

The door opened and Rory, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Canary, Laura, Atom, Blendo, Rony, Bella, Rukara, Zammy, Delilah, Bernard, Romeo, Oberon, Poo, Blackie, Whitey, Kong, VanCat, Moshe, Tikva, Helen, Sparky, Floyd, Susannah, and Howard all rushed in.

Gali, Copper, and Turing ran to Tim, Maggie, Isaac, and Nik, laughing and hugging.

Rory, Tim, Canary, Floyd and Harley gathered beside Les, facing Danny and Candy.

Danny surveyed the room. Everyone stared at him with exuberant, gleeful smiles. “Will somebody please tell me what is going on.”

Candy grasped Danny’s hands in hers. “You did it, baby.”

“Did what?”

Canary threw his arms into the air. “You passed the test!”

“What test?”

“You rose to the occasion,” said Canary. “You met the challenge, overcame all obstacles, however you care to put it. In the end, you did the right thing. That’s what’s important.”

Danny turned to Candy. “What is he talking about?”

Danny turned to Harley. “How are you alive? I saw you die.”

Danny surveyed the people and robots standing around him. “I saw you all die. You all got shot. VanCat, your arms got cut off. Whitey, your head got cut off. Mr. C., your head exploded. Moshe’s head was ripped off his body. Sparky had knives in both eyes. Howard, oh Howard, my friend, you got your brains blown out. I saw you all die!”

Candy took Danny’s face in her hands. “It’s okay, baby. Nobody died. It was all a test. And you passed. Everything is going to be okay.”

Les lay his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “She’s right. Everything is going to be okay. Nobody died. As you can see, everyone is very much alive.

“You see, I wasn’t always a politician. My true love is making movies. That’s how I made my fortune. So, we decided to make a little movie of our own. Two weeks ago. Everyone got dressed up in their body armor and face paint and I used my considerable resources to produce the short film you just watched. See, while Senator Stein was hustling you down the hallway and into this room, everyone was waiting in the clean room and watching what was happening in here. When I activated the feed of the slaughter, I already had our pre-made, special-effects masterpiece cued up. I simply pressed Play. So you see, no one died.”

“What is all this?” Danny looked to Tim and Rory. “Guys?”

“We’re really sorry to put you through all this, buddy,” said Rory. “But . . . there was no other way.”

“That’s right,” said Tim. “Please try to understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Let me start at the beginning,” said Les. “For decades, robots have been a subject of controversy. Ever since the first user-friendly, affordable, mass-production service-and-utility robots were introduced into society about thirty years ago, there have been problems. Not with the robots, but with people. For eons mankind has struggled to overcome its fear of the unknown, its fear of the other, its fear of being dominated and subjugated by a superior race. Robots embody all three of those fears in one easy-to-hate entity. Which is why the well-known and time-honored Laws were created; to protect humans from robots, and to protect robots from humans. Although I think we can all agree that that last part hasn’t gone over so well. It’s been thirty years and robots are still the most maligned, subjugated, and discriminated group to have ever lived. But it’s only because they’re misunderstood.

“The anti-robot, as well as anti-cyborg, faction of society has been growing for years. But it’s fueled by nothing more than fear and prejudice and judgmentalism.

“One afternoon several years ago, Canary, Tim, Rory, Harley, and I were playing Golf Links up at Pebble Beach. We’re on the fourth hole, a beautiful par-three overlooking the cove, waves are breaking on the rocks, sending white spray into the air, and we’re all smoking the finest Cohibas money can buy. Harley was putting for bogie. The rest of us were one or two over. I remember that moment because our robo-caddy was having problems and kept spitting out the wrong clubs. Harley said, ‘We should’ve gotten a real caddy.’ And Rory said, ‘A caddy that looks like a human but functions like a robot.’ It was then that we realized that in order for robots to get a fair shake and be truly welcomed as legitimate, sentient, self-realized members of society, we were going to have to do something. Thus, the iCandy Project was born. Its objective was to create a robot that was virtually indistinguishable from a human in every way, not just physically, but mentally, spiritually, morally, and ethically. Especially ethically. It was imperative that the new breed of robot be able to distinguish right from wrong, not because it was programmed not to injure a human, but because it fundamentally understood that to do so would be wrong, so that it could apply that same understanding to every aspect of its day-to-day life. Then, and only then, would the robot be on a level truly equal to that of human beings. So we committed ourselves to giving life to that robot. It took almost ten years and more money than any of us care to think about, but, after today, I can finally say that we succeeded.

“You see, doctor, in order to test the true functionality of this new robot’s morality, we had to create a situation worthy of its merit. It hasn’t been easy, and I dare say we nearly drove poor Candy halfway to roboticide.”

“More than halfway,” said Candy. “Much more.”

“I think I speak for everyone here, my dear, when I say that I am deeply and profoundly sorry for that,” said Les.

All around the room, everyone nodded in agreement.

“Forgive me, Candy,” Les continued. “Forgive all of us.”

“But you said I was the one who passed the test,” said Danny.

“That’s correct,” said Les. “The iCandy Project is not about Candy. Candy is a robot, just as Rory and Tim explained that day out on the boat. But the iCandy Project is also about you. Because you, Danny, are also a robot.”

~

Danny stared at Les. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” Les beamed.

“We created two new robots unlike anything that had ever been created before,” said Harley.

“One male, one female,” Tim added.

“You and Candy,” said Rory.

Les continued, “The project parameters were to let you both venture out into the world in order to see how you fared, how you reacted, and what the outcome would be. Canary, Tim, Harley, and Rory were monitoring Candy while Floyd, Howard, and I were monitoring you. You were independent projects, never intended to meet or overlap in any way.”

Danny turned to Floyd. “So you’re not a screenwriter? You’re a spy who’s been living in my house for over a year?”

“Oh I am a screenwriter,” said Floyd. “Les and I have collaborated on almost every film he’s ever made. Therefore, as one of his closest friends, we decided that Howard and I would pose as renters in need of a place to stay. It was the closest thing we had to an insurance policy. But I promise you that at no time did Howard or I meddle in or interfere with your life in any way. Isn’t that right, Howard?”

“That is indeed correct, sir,” said Howard. “And it was a true joy being your friend. I do hope we will be friends in the future as well.”

“Of course we will, Howard.” Danny addressed Floyd. “So when did you realize Candy and I had met?”

“That night, after the two of you, somehow, met online via that Internet dating website and went on a blind date,” said Floyd. “We were not expecting that.”

“We just about peed our pants when we realized what had happened,” said Les. “You and Candy were on your way to the Salton Sea when we all had a conference call with Howard in order to try to decide what to do. Then the engine blew up and you almost died. The three finest robots in the world and you’re all in the same assassination attempt.”

“So it was sabotage,” said Danny.

“Yes,” said Les. “It seems they were after Howard. We found out later it was STERN.”

“Those same sons of bitches who threw shit on my car,” said Poo.

“So when Howard called and informed me there were traces of TNT on the shuttle, what happened next?” Danny asked.

“Harley had to convince a police detective to get him to drop the whole thing,” Rory replied.

“I had to speak to him directly,” said Les. “He required a fair amount of convincing.”

“If those STERN people only knew they nearly got all three of you,” said Harley. “I received a phone call from one of their operatives after the shuttle went down. I was in Rory’s office but didn’t want them to overhear because they didn’t know about my involvement with those people. It was safer that way.

“Then, when I dropped you off at your place after we had dinner, you mentioned that you were also on that shuttle. I’m sorry I left in such a hurry. I drove straight to Canary’s place and demanded to know what was going on. I interrupted his evening with Laura, too. But that was the night I learned who you truly were.”

“So why did you take Candy from the Robot Palace?” Danny asked.

“I didn’t. At least, not in the violent kidnapping you imagined. But you had to think I did. The anti-robot bit was a cover story. See, Les and I have been involved with the three biggest anti-robot groups for several years. We’ve been gathering intelligence. So we can take them down, once and for all. By the time Les runs for President next year, we will have succeeded.”

“Keep in mind that we were working without a net on this one,” said Les. “Working without a script. Literally making it up as we went along. It was a huge risk, but it had to be that way in order for it to be real.”

“So, when Candy and I met online and went on our first date at Chateaux Pizza, that was all a coincidence?” Danny asked.

“A divine coincidence,” Maggie replied.

“And when I first met Harley at Positronic and we–”

“Flirted?” said Harley. “That was the first time I had ever met you. In fact, that was the first time I had ever seen you. I knew our iCandy project had a male counterpart, but that was all I knew. We tried to keep the two halves of the project compartmentalized as much as possible for fear of one half unduly influencing the other. When I first met you, I just thought you were a gorgeous guy who flew airplanes. I had no idea who you really were.”

“Neither did I,” said Rory. “Remember when we met at that lecture you gave at M.I.T. a few years ago?”

“I remember,” said Danny.

“We became friends after that, right?”

“Right.”

“Imagine my shock when Les and Canary told me who you were. You and I have been friends for four years and I only found out in June that one of my best friends was the other half of the iCandy project. Remember that day at lunch when you were hungover and you told me you were dating Candy? I just about choked to death. It was quite a shock seeing how you two found each other.”

“What about my flight with Howard later that day?” Danny asked. “We almost got killed.”

“If I may, sir,” said Howard, “our flight with Lieutenant Giskard and Lieutenant Parnell was a random event. One which worked out for the best, as we were able to call upon them and their substantial assistance this evening.”

“Yeah, what about that?” Danny asked. “We destroyed a lot of hardware tonight. And Canary, both your jets got shot up. You lost an engine and almost went down.”

“Hundreds of millions of dollars worth of hardware,” said Canary. “We won’t have an exact figure for a few days. But the dollar value of last year’s obsolete drones doesn’t matter. And it is true that things got a little crazy tonight. Those bullet holes are very real. I suspect we’ll be requiring alternate transportation home.”

“What about the mugging in Robot City?” Danny asked. “Was that real?”

“Very much so,” said Canary.

“How did I manage to beat the crap out of that guy?” Danny asked. “How did I not get stabbed to death?”

“Good questions,” said Maggie.

Danny turned to Rory. “That wasn’t some old martial arts training of yours coming out of me?”

“No,” said Rory. “I’m not a fighter. I’m a lover. That was all you.”

“My hero,” said Candy.

Danny raised his arm and showed the fine white line where the stitches had been. “What about the doctor who stitched me up?”

“Doctor Perkins?” asked Les. “He’s a real doctor. You sure fooled him.”

“What about the cops and the police report?” Danny asked. “It’s not very often somebody gets knifed in Robot City.”

“I had to pull a few strings to get that one dropped,” said Laura. “Les and Canary put their reputations on the line. It wasn’t easy getting the U.S. Navy to attack Les Grossman’s private island.”

“What about everything Candy and I have done during the past four years?” Danny asked. “Did I actually invent a new pediatric artificial heart? Did I actually write The Rock of God? Did Candy earn her Ph.D. and open her own office? Does she actually have clients? Or were all those things fabricated? Do I actually have a pilot’s license? Is the Viper Jet mine? Do I actually own my house?”

“Yes,” said Floyd. “All those things are real. They’re genuine accomplishments you should both be very proud of. There are two happy couples in this room who owe their happiness to Candy.”

“Three couples,” Susannah corrected. “It was Candy who introduced us at the Fourth of July party.”

“That’s right,” said Floyd. “I stand corrected.” Floyd and Susannah kissed.

“So, how old am I?” Danny asked. “How old is Candy?”

“Chronologically,” said Tim, “you’re both early-thirties. You were activated about four years ago, a few days after Candy was activated.”

“Ha ha ha, I’m older,” Candy teased.

“What about all my memories?” Danny asked. “I remember things from my childhood.”

“That was all me,” said Rory. “Everything prior to activation was programmed. Implanted. I put a lot of my own experiences into you. We all did. For what it’s worth, we tried to make it a happy childhood.”

“What about my parents being married for forty years?” Danny asked. “Wait. Do I even have parents?”

“Those were composite memories,” said Harley. “Idealized and implanted to give you something positive to remember. And to aspire to.”

Danny turned to Candy. “Were you ever a gymnast?”

“No, but Harley was.”

“Does it make you sad?” Danny asked.

“It did at first,” said Candy. “And I guess it still does a little.”

“So, where have you been the last few months? What happened after you left the Fourth of July party?”

“I was devastated,” said Candy. “After I left the stage, Harley and Rory took me back to her place and told me everything. I insisted they show me the lab on the top floor of Canary Tower in Santa Monica. Even then I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t handle it all that well. I went to a little motel in Venice. I did some things I’m not proud of. But eventually I ended up at Robot Palace. Zammy and Delilah took me in.” She turned to Zammy and Delilah. “You guys were so great. And you, Bernard, and Rony, and Bella and Rukara. Were it not for all of you, I don’t think I would’ve recovered.” She turned to Danny once more. “But at least there are things to remember. Happy things. People and places and school and holidays. And we’ve already begun making memories of our own.”

“When did you find out about me?” Danny asked.

“Tonight. It took everything I had not to run to you as soon as you came through that door.”

Danny surveyed the room. “So, you all knew?”

Everyone nodded and answered in the affirmative.

“Think of it as the ultimate surprise party,” said Les. “Surprise!”

Danny didn’t know what to say. “I’m a robot?”

Candy nodded and smiled. “Just like me.”

“Clearly you two were meant to be together,” said Maggie.

Danny surveyed each person, human and robot alike. “So, you all agreed to come here and stage this elaborate search for Candy, including faking your own deaths in a gunfight, to help me find her?”

“Of course,” said Copper.

“And the fake blood tastes terrible,” said Turing, wiping the dried, red syrup from her face and mouth.

Everyone laughed.

“You did it,” said Les. “You slayed the dragon, defeated the evil lord, and rescued the princess.”

“And you’re not the evil, anti-robot character you’re accused of being?” Danny asked.

“Hardly,” said Les. “That’s a show designed for voters. It’s called politics.”

“So, what would have happened if I had proposed to Candy at the beach party back in July?”

“We’ll never know,” said Rory. “Presumably, she would’ve said yes and you two would’ve gotten married. But we didn’t pursue that course, so anything further would merely be speculation.”

Tim added, “We would’ve had to scramble to come up with something. I have no idea what that would’ve been.”

“So why did you tell me Candy was a robot?”

“That was a controversial decision we’ve been arguing about for the past three months,” said Canary.

“Vehemently,” Les added.

“It was Harley’s idea,” said Tim. “She thought it would be the best way to test the new law.”

“What new law?” Danny asked.

“The Ultimate Law of Robotics,” said Harley. “Free will. As Les said before, it’s not enough for a robot to be programmed not to hurt human beings. The situation is more complicated than that. What if a robot must injure a human in order to rescue them from a burning building or a car sinking in the river? A robot would do its best to do the right thing. But society isn’t willing to accept programming. Programming can fail. Look at what happened with Candy’s client, Barney. The only way to prove that robots are safe is to let the robot act on its own; to let it decide what is right and what is wrong. And then to do the right thing. Which is what you did tonight.”

“You had every reason to blow my head off,” said Les. “I know I would’ve if I were in your shoes. After being betrayed and seeing all my friends massacred, I would’ve pulled out my guts, tied them around my neck, and choked me to death with them.

“But you didn’t. You had your chance and you chose to do the right thing: to let due process take its course. Given the circumstances as I’ve just described them, and as you’ve just lived them, we all agree that the goal has been achieved. Clearly, you are a walking, talking miracle. More human than robot. It’s going to take time, but robots like you are going to fundamentally change the world forever. Once people get to know you and others like you, a new era will begin. A better era.”

Les held up a meaty fist. “Now, if you’re pissed and want to punch me in the face really hard, I understand.”

Danny considered Les’s proposal. He looked around the room, and then back at Les. “No, I don’t want to punch you. I mean, part of me does. But I won’t. I’m just glad everyone isn’t dead. And that Candy is here. And all this is over. It is over, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” said Canary, “for the most part. I’m sure we’ll have about a million questions for you and Candy over the next several weeks. But we don’t have to get into all that now.”

“What would you like to do now?” Harley asked. She and Rory were holding each other, as were Canary and Laura, Tim and Maggie, Helen and Sparky, Moshe and Tikva, Floyd and Susannah, and Rony and Poo.

“I think I’d like to take Candy out of here. I’m sure she wants to get home. We could both use some rest. I think we all could.”

“You’re all welcome to stay here,” said Les. “I’ve got plenty of space. We could have one fucking huge party.”

“Watch your language,” said Turing.

“Sorry,” said Les. “I’ll try.”

“I think we need some time alone,” said Danny. He gave Candy a squeeze. “Don’t we?”

“Yes.”

“No problem,” said Les.

“You don’t mind if we take off?” Danny asked.

“Not at all,” replied Les. “You have free will, just like the rest of us. You can do whatever the fuck you want.”

Turing swatted Les on the butt. “Hey!”

Les picked up Turing. “Sorry.” He faced Danny and Candy. “I’ll give you a lift down to the airfield. But rest up, because we are going to have a ridiculously wild party. Deal?” Les extended his open hand.

Danny shook it. “Deal.”

~

Danny completed the final items on his Before Take-off checklist. He taxied the Viper Jet onto Les’s private runway and aligned the jet with the white centerline.

He glanced in his rearview mirror. The rear seat was no longer empty. Candy was strapped in, helmet on. She smiled back at him.

“Ready for takeoff?”

Candy made a show of studying the diamond ring on her finger. “Ready.”

Danny advanced the throttle and the Viper Jet accelerated down the runway. He eased back on the stick and the plane lifted gently into the air. “Wave goodbye.”

Dawn was breaking. Down on the ground, everyone was assembled around the two Gulfstream jets, watching and waving as the Viper Jet climbed into the sky.

Danny and Candy waved.

“Here comes the sun,” said Danny.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It certainly is.”

The Viper Jet climbed into the sky and headed out over the ocean, vast and blue.

Together, Danny and Candy flew away, into the sunrise.

~

ONE YEAR AND APPROXIMATELY TWO MONTHS LATER…

Danny and Candy strolled hand-in-hand across the White House Lawn. It was a characteristically brisk Washington, D.C. evening. Tall, parabolic heaters had been situated here and there across the lawn, and provided comforting warmth to the party guests, allowing the men to wear their tuxedoes and white bowties, and the women, in particular, to enjoy showing off their sexy yet elegant ball gowns. Candy looked particularly ravishing in a white off-the-shoulder gown that glittered when she moved.

“You look amazing in that dress.”

Candy smiled. “That’s the fourth time you’ve said that.”

“Fifth. But who’s counting?”

“Not me.”

Music emanated from a massive party tent, and Danny and Candy made their way slowly toward it, saying hello to fellow revelers as they went. They exchanged hellos and hugs and high-fives with Tim and Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Gali, Copper, and Turing.

Danny spoke to Turing. “You look positively radiant in that dress.”

“Thank you. It was a gift from the President. I told him it was either this or a quarter million dollars in the national swear jar.”

“Good choice,” said Candy.

They all strolled together, and soon joined Rory and Harley, Floyd and Susannah, Bernard, Zammy and Delilah, Rony and Poo, Rukara, and Bella, all of whom were standing around a docile yet very large robotic dragon.

Both Rony and Harley boasted round, pregnant bellies.

“Danny, Candy,” said Rory, “I’d like you to meet someone.” A man Danny had never met stepped forward. “This is Larry.”

Larry surveyed Danny’s look of confusion, and said, “I’m the guy who ate the Teriyaki cat and shit himself.”

“Oh!” said Danny. “Yes, nice to meet you.” Danny shook hands with Larry. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Who hasn’t?” Larry asked. “This is my wife Charlotte.”

Charlotte shook hands with Danny and Candy. “Nice to meet you.”

“So have you had any more unfortunate incidents?” Danny asked.

“Oh, no,” Larry replied. “Charlotte and I both became vegetarians. No more Teriyaki cat for me. I understand you’ve met Angus.”

“Angus?” Danny asked.

“Past presidents enjoyed having a dog in the White House,” said Poo, “but a giant robotic dragon is a first. I think the founding fathers would be proud.”

“Or dinner,” said Bella.

“Presidential shishkabobs,” said Rukara. His tuxedo was resplendent with tiny white lights.

“Nice tux,” said Danny.

“Thanks,” said Rukara. “Made it myself. His, too.” Rukara pointed at Angus. Angus wore an illuminated white bowtie around his neck.

“Very dapper,” said Candy. “How are the babies?”

“Fine,” Rony and Harley replied in unison. Poo rested a hand gently on Rony’s stomach. Rory did the same to Harley.

“When are you guys due?” Candy asked.

“Valentine’s Day,” said Poo.

“Only three weeks away,” said Candy, “how exciting.”

“I was going to get her chocolate-covered strawberries, but I decided on a child instead,” said Poo.

“And with Harley’s ultra-competitive nature,”–Rory put his hands over Turing’s ears–“Harley had her way with me every night for three months trying to get pregnant. Not that I’m complaining. I mean, look at her; she’s beautiful. And her tits are huge.” Rory and Harley kissed passionately. Maggie attempted to cover Turing’s eyes. Turing did her best to peek between her mother’s fingers.

A young woman in a bright red dress joined the group and stood beside Bernard. Bernard put one arm around her. “Miss Candy, Mister Olivaw, this is Prima.” Danny and Candy took turns shaking hands with Prima. “Thank you for helping me to believe that anything is possible.”

“You’re welcome,” said Candy. She gave Bernard a big hug.

Danny leaned close to Floyd. “Where’s Howard?”

“In the tent,” replied Floyd. “He and his new stomach are hitting the buffet.”

Candy and Danny excused themselves and made their way through the party goers. Candy gently caressed her stomach. “Don’t worry. In seven months, it’ll be our turn.”

Danny smiled.

Gradually, they made their way to the entrance of the party tent.

“Sure you’re ready to do this?” Danny asked. “There’s a lot of people in there who’re gonna be watching.”

“I’m ready if you’re ready,” Candy replied.

“I’m with you. So I’m ready.”

“Let’s do it, Mr. Olivaw.”

“After you, Mrs. Olivaw.”

Hand in hand, Danny and Candy stepped through the entrance.

The interior of the tent was all warmth and soft lights and revelry on a broad dance floor surrounded by tables and chairs. A long buffet spanned one side of the tent, abundant with more food than Danny had ever seen assembled in one place. Smack-dab in the middle of the buffet stood Howard. He wore a tuxedo with long tails, and held a plate piled high with food. In his other hand he held a silver fork, and used it to shovel food into his mouth. He spotted Danny and Candy, smiled a big, broad, happy smile, and waved his fork in the air. Danny and Candy smiled and waved back.

Surrounding Howard and also hitting the buffet were a large group of men in tuxedos. Over their tuxedos they wore red and gold football jerseys. A long banner hung above the buffet table: CONGRATULATIONS WORLD CHAMPIONS 2076!

At the head of the dance floor was a stage. Upon the stage, Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat were performing one of their favorite numbers. People on the dance floor were dancing. Blackie and the guys wore tuxedos in various states of completion.

Blackie wore pants but no shirt, only a bowtie and white shirt cuffs.

Whitey wore a tuxedo jacket with long tails but his pants had been cut into shorts. His hair was purple. He cradled his bass guitar he was thrumming and slapping as he rocked his head wildly in time to the beat pounded out by Kong’s drums.

Kong wore a tuxedo jacket and bowtie as well, but no shirt. His tuxedo coat was sleeveless, providing full range of motion for his monstrous arms.

VanCat boasted a fine tuxedo jacket as well as pants, though he, too, seemed to have opted for no shirt. He swayed in place with his eyes closed, feeling the music as all four hands played all twenty-four strings on both necks of his one-of-a-kind guitar.

Danny spotted Moshe and Tikva on the dance floor, close to the stage, alongside Helen and Sparky, Romeo, and Oberon. Moshe, Sparky, Romeo, and Oberon wore classic tuxedoes with white ties. Tikva and Helen wore dazzling evening gowns.

“There they are,” said Danny.

Tikva noticed Danny and Candy and waved. She alerted Moshe, Helen, Sparky, Romeo, and Oberon, all of whom began waving wildly.

Kong finished the tune with a powerful, staccato drum solo, and the song ended.

“Thank you,” Blackie spoke into the microphone. “This next tune goes out to all the lovers and the players out there. And we’d like to dedicate it to two very special people who are simply perfect together. It’s called Dance, Dance, Dance.”

The song began with four soulful, echoing notes on VanCat’s guitar, repeated.

Whitey came in on the bass.

Kong’s drums joined in.

Blackie began to sing.

The song unfolded, becoming a peppy funk jam interspersed with a beautiful melody. Blackie’s red eyes gleamed as he sang about the holiness of lovers being in love, always and forever.

Together, Danny and Candy strode onto the dance floor.

Danny and Candy began to rock and sway, feeling the music, letting their bodies move at will and without thought.

The others also took to the dance floor. Rory and Harley; Tim and Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Gali, Copper, and Turing; Floyd and Susannah; Howard; Zammy and Delilah; Atom; Blendo; Rony and Poo; Rukara; Bella; Bernard and Prima; Canary and Laura; Larry and Charlotte.

Danny and Candy danced, surrounded by their friends.

Whitey, Kong, and VanCat eased into a rhythmic jam. Blackie took the mic. “Ladies and gentleman, thank you all for being here this evening. If everyone would please rise.”

The guests seated around the dance floor stood. The rear of the tent was cozy with all the attendees who had come in from the lawn.

“Right now,” said Blackie, “I have the distinct pleasure of making two very important introductions. First, coming to the dance floor, the most caring, hardworking, devoted politician I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. . . . Put your hands together, please, for Vice President David Stein!”

Everyone clapped and cheered. Two spotlights illuminated as David ran onto the dance floor and dropped to his knees, executing a perfect power slide. David got to his feet and took a bow.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen,” said Blackie, “put your hands together for the Nobel Peace Prize winner, one of the most amazing and influential men of all time, and the fifty-fifth President of the United States of Americaaaaaa . . . President Les Grossmannnnn!!!”

Les stepped onto the dance floor, lit by the spotlights. His tuxedo jacket had been abandoned, leaving his white shirt, black suspenders, and matching cummerbund. His bowtie was absent and his shirt sleeves had been rolled up. Sunglasses concealed his eyes, gleaming in the spotlights. He had lost weight (and most of his body hair), and a lean, muscular physique was evident beneath his white shirt.

Les began to move with the beat, bobbing his head in time. He reached into his shirt and withdrew a gold medal that hung about his neck. He joined the other dancers on the floor.

Blackie and the guys resumed the song in full tempo.

Les slapped a crisp high-five with Danny, kissed the back of Candy’s hand, and then executed a perfect backflip, landed in the splits, and came back up to his feet dancing.

Danny and Candy joined Les in the celebration, as did everyone. Poo went so far as to leap into the air, kicking off his shoes in a fit of joy.

Surrounded by their friends, Danny and Candy danced, danced, danced, danced all night long, yes all night long.

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